DAD, YOU HAVE THE COOLEST JOB.
WELL, SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD BE HANGING OUT
WITH A BETTER CLASS OF ANIMALS.
OH, COME ON!
HEY, HAVE SOME CLASS, WILL YA?
WE GOT MIXED COMPANY DOWN HERE.
YOU KNOW, DAD, GENETICALLY SPEAKING,
MONKEYS ARE OUR FIRST COUSINS.
YOU MEAN...
UNCLE BOB'S KIDS?
YEAH. I SUPPOSE I'D AGREE WITH THAT.
NO, I'M SERIOUS. ACTUALLY, SOME SCIENTISTS SAY
THAT MONKEY DIETS ARE MUCH MORE EVOLVED THAN OUR OWN.
OH, THIS IS ALL ABOUT DIETS AGAIN, HUH?
I'M JUST SAYING IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU
TO EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
LIKE MONKEYS DO.
HONEY, THE REASON THAT MONKEYS
EAT SO MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
IS BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT SMART ENOUGH
TO BUTCHER A COW.
YOUR MOTHER, GOD BLESS HER SOUL,
DIDN'T BELIEVE THE OLD-FASHIONED IDEAS
ABOUT NURSING, BREAST-FEEDING AND ALL THAT.
UH-UH. YOU WERE FED CHEESEBURGERS AS A BABY.
NOW LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE AS BIG AS A HOUSE. YOU'RE AS STRONG AS A BULL.
YOU SMELL LIKE A COW.
YOUR CHOLESTEROL'S PROBABLY A LITTLE HIGH,
BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE MEDICINE FOR THAT NOW.
YOU CAN GET AN ANGIOPLASTY, GET IT ALL CLEARED OUT.
YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT, HONEY.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL START WORKIN' OUT TOMORROW.
START TAKING BETTER CARE OF MYSELF, OK?
SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL GO ON THE SCHOOL HIKE WITH ME?
FIRST THINGS FIRST.
EAT YOUR LUNCH.
TALK ABOUT IT LATER.
HEY--GIMME THAT EGG, PAL.
GIMME THE EGG, FRIENDLY. COME ON!
DAD! DAD, STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, THAT'S MY EGG! GIMME THAT--
UH! UH! UH! UH!
IT'S JUST AN EGG, DAD!
OK. NOW I GOTTA CHOKE YA.
AHA!
HA! NOW WHO'S EVOLVED?
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?
ALL THAT SALAD SLOW YOU DOWN?
HUH?
DAD!
THAT'S FILTHY!
HONEY, 10-SECOND RULE. HITS THE GROUND,
YOU PICK IT UP WITHIN 10 SECONDS, YOU CAN EAT IT.
UGH!
Dispatcher, over radio: SALIVA ONE, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
Pilot: WE HAVE A 2-20 ON AN EGG.
ECHO GAMMA-GAMMA. OVER.
ANY MAYO?
THAT'S AFFIRMATIVE.
WE'LL TRY AND LOOK IN THE BOWELS.
WE NEED THAT MAYONNAISE. OVER.
ENZYME BREAKDOWN IN 10. BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A ROOKIE CELL,
THIS PLACE WAS CLEAN ENOUGH TO EAT OUT OF. LOOK AT IT NOW!
JEEZ! WHAT A DISGRACE.
SEE ANYTHING, KID?
MMM. I DO.
NICE GENES!
YOU GOT THE CHROMOSOMES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES!
JONES...
WHAT? AIN'T NOTHING A TOOTHBRUSH CAN'T HANDLE.
I WISH YOU'D TAKE THIS JOB A BIT MORE SERIOUSLY.
YO! YOU SEE THIS BADGE? YOU SEE THIS GUN?
YOU SEE THIS GOOEY, WHITE, SACKUS, MEMBRANOUS
AROUND MY PERSONHOOD?
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
WELL, YOU DEALIN' WITH A WHITE BLOOD CELL HERE!
I SHOULD BE OUT IN THE VEINS FIGHTIN' DISEASE,
NOT IN THE MOUTH ON TARTAR CONTROL!
YOU'RE LUCKY YOU AIN'T IN A SCAB.
UH-OH. LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME GERMS ON THAT EGG.
MMM, BABY, IT'S OZZY TIME!
IT'S PROBABLY GINGIVITIS. DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY.
Pilot, over radio: HALT. YOU HAVE ENTERED THE CITY OF FRANK.
PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND SURRENDER FOR DIGESTION.
SALIVA ONE REQUESTING GROUND SUPPORT. OVER.
BICUSPID FOUR. WE'RE IN THE VICINITY.
WE'RE ON IT.
Pilot: THIS IS A PRIVATE ORGANISM.
THERE IS NO USE RUNNING.
YOU UP SPIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE.
DON'T MAKE ME MAD,
'CAUSE I WILL TURN INTO A GERMICIDAL MANIAC.
HALT. SALIVA PATROL.
OOH! AH!
SON OF A BOTULISM!
THEY SWIPED THE PATROL CAR!
GET OUTTA HERE!
OH! UH-OH, YOU DONE DONE IT NOW!
AAH! AAH!
HOLY FRANK!
HE'S ABOUT TO YAWN!
WE'RE GETTING SUCKED IN!
I TOLD CITY HALL WE NEED MORE SLEEP!
AAH!
HOLD TIGHT, KID.
OSMOSIS JONES TO DISPATCH.
WE GOT MULTIPLE GERMS--
I REPEAT--MULTIPLE GERMS COMING DOWN THE WINDPIPE,
AND IF THESE BAD BOYS HIT THE BLOODSTREAM,
WE'RE GONNA BE ILLIN'!
I'M TALKIN' NOSE DRIPPIN', CHICKEN SOUP DRINKIN',
RECTAL THERMOMETER STICKIN' ILLIN'!
CHIEF, LISTEN TO THIS.
AAH! AAH!
HA HA HA-HA!
SO, YOU GOT PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND, KID?
OH, YEAH. ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND
ARE GOIN' DOWN TO THE KIDNEYS TO SEE THE STONES.
GOOD FOR YOU. THEY COULD PASS ANY DAY NOW.
Dispatcher: ALL UNITS DOWN TO THE STOMACH.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ILLEGAL ORGANISMS.
JONES! YOU WANNA KEEP YOUR JOB?
STAY WHERE YOU ARE AND WAIT FOR BACKUP.
BUT I CAN GET 'EM!
I SAID STAY PUT.
OVER.
Pilot: YOU HEARD THE CHIEF.
WE'RE OUT OF OUR JURISDICTION.
IT'S IMMUNITY'S PROBLEM NOW.
WE'D BETTER GET BACK UP TO THE MOUTH.
WHAT THE--HEY, JONES!
CHIEF, YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME FOR THIS LATER.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, PAL.
AREN'T YOU IN ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY?
JONES!
AAH!
AH--OH!
OH! OH! OH! OH!
SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN!
HEY, HEY, HEY! WAIT-- WAIT A--WHA--WHAT THE--
HEY, STRETCH,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE UP IN THE MOUTH?
AW, COME ON, GUYS.
THIS IS MY BUST. I SAW 'EM FIRST.
AAH!
WHOA!
* NOW IN THE STREET, THERE IS VIOLENCE *
* AND A LOTS OF WORK TO BE DONE... *
YOU WANT OSMOSIS, YOU GOT OSMOSIS.
OH!
* OH OH
* WE GONNA ROCK DOWN TO...
BYE-BYE, COP!
AH HA HA HA!
SORRY, BABY, BUT IT'S TIME YOU TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!
ALWAYS PULLS TO THE RIGHT!
YAAAAH!
AAH!
OH! OH!
DAD, WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG?
OH, IT'S A CRAMP!
AAH!
OFFICER DOWN!
OH, THESE STAIRS ARE KILLIN' ME, HONEY.
WE MAY HAVE TO MOVE.
BUT DAD, THERE'S ONLY 4 STEPS.
IF YOU LOVE IT HERE...
I'LL BUILD A RAMP.
AH...
Sewage worker #1: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
IT'S BEEN 3 HOURS SINCE LUNCH,
AND WE'RE STILL CLEANING UP THIS EGG.
OH, MAN, WOULD YOU LOOK AT ALL THAT GUNK?
HA HA HA.
SERIOUSLY... WHAT DOES THIS GUY DO,
ROLL HIS FOOD AROUND ON THE GROUND BEFORE HE EATS IT?
WE NEED TO SEND A LETTER TO THE MAYOR
ABOUT WASHING OUR HANDS BEFORE WE EAT.
YEAH, LIKE HE'S GONNA LISTEN TO US.
HEY, CELLS VOTE, MAN.
CELLS VOTE.
AH...
HA HA. GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE--
AAH!
A
W-WHAT'S GOIN' ON OVER THERE?
ARTIE?
HUH?
HOLY SPIT!
CAREFUL... I'M CONTAGIOUS.
OW...
OH--OH--
AAH!
I THINK I'LL TURN UP THE HEAT IN HERE.
...IS NOT AVAILABLE.
HOLD. ONE MOMENT.
I'M CONNECTING.
MR. MAYOR, MR. MAYOR, DO YOU HAVE A PLAN
TO DEAL WITH THE FAT CELL HOUSING SHORTAGE?
I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE WE'RE BEGINNING CONSTRUCTION
ON A--HA HA--THIRD CHIN.
MR. MAYOR, WE'RE HAVING JOCK ITCH!
ANY COMMENTS ON TODAY'S CRAMP?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ALL THE HAIR CELLS
RECENTLY LAID OFF FROM THE SCALP?
THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF NEW JOBS FOR EVERYONE
ON THE BACK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF FRANK'S DAUGHTER'S REQUEST
FOR BETTER NUTRITION?
85% OF RED BLOOD CELL CHILDREN
DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CARRY OXYGEN.
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, YOU WORRY TOO MUCH!
THE BODY IS IN PERFECT SHAPE.
HA HA HA HA.
NO MORE QUESTIONS. THANK YOU.
DO THEY KNOW HOW HARD I WORK?
NO. NO. NOBODY CARES.
MR. MAYOR, I--
NOT NOW, LEAH. I HAVE A BODY TO RUN.
I'VE GOT TOM COLONIC'S NEW CAMPAIGN AD.
OH? LET'S GO. PUT IT ON.
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT.
THE BOWELS.
DIDN'T ALWAYS SMELL THIS WAY.
NO. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN EATING RIGHT AND EXERCISE
KEPT THIS WHOLE AREA A VITAL CENTER OF ACTIVITY.
BUT DURING MAYOR PHLEGMMING'S TERM,
WE'VE SEEN ROT AND STAGNATION PARALYZE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
AS WELL AS THE COLON AND THE SPHINCTER.
WELL, I THINK IT'S TIME WE GET THINGS MOVING AGAIN.
I'M TOM COLONIC. AS MAYOR, I WOULD SET LONG-TERM GOALS
THAT INCLUDE ORDERING SALADS AND EATING BRAN.
MAYOR PHLEGMMING MAY THINK THAT THINGS ARE FINE
JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
BUT I THINK THAT IF WE PULL TOGETHER
AND PUT IN A LITTLE HARD WORK...
A NEW FRANK COULD BE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
OH, UH...
MR. COLONIC, WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
HA HA.
WHY, THAT'S THE SMELL OF CHANGE, BILLY.
THAT'S THE SMELL OF CHANGE.
Announcer: PAID FOR BY COLONIC FOR MAYOR.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THOSE LIES?
SIR, HE'S GOT A POINT. WHEN I CAME TO WORK FOR YOU,
YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD CONCENTRATE MORE
ON HEALTH ISSUES.
LEAH, I WANT FRANK TO BE HEALTHY,
BUT THINK OF THE SACRIFICES, THE HARD WORK,
THE LACK OF POTATO CHIPS! THAT'S NOT WHAT THE VOTERS WANT.
THEN WHY ARE YOU BEHIND IN THE POLLS?
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THE POLLS.
I HAVE A PLAN THAT'S GONNA FLUSH COLONIC DOWN THE TOILET.
HONEY!
SHAAANE!
COMING.
YOU OK? WHERE DOES IT HURT?
LEG.
HERE?
LEG.
HERE?
LEEEEEEEG!
OH! OH, OH.
OH, HERE.
HERE.
I JUST NEEDED SOME SODIUM.
I THINK THAT'S WHAT MADE ME CRAMP UP.
HEADS UP!
CHICKEN GOIN' DOWN ROUGH!
NOW WHAT?
SIR, TURN ON THE OPTICAL FEED.
LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THAT, DAD.
OPEN WIDE.
OPEN WIDE. AHH.
AHH!
COULD YOU SWALLOW FIRST, PLEASE?
OW!
AHH...
DEFINITELY RED.
ARE YOU ORDERING OUT?
NO. I'M MAKING YOU AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR.
SICK? WE'RE NOT GETTING SICK!
WE HAVE FAR TOO MUCH PLANNED!
OOH!
SIR, YOU CAN'T GO INTO OVERRIDE
WITHOUT A VOTE FROM CITY COUNCIL.
HA HA HA HA.
YES, MY DEAR.
VOICE MANUAL CONTROL ON.
HEY, THAT'S ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES.
LEAH, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
Into microphone: ON SECOND THOUGHT...
Mayor: PERHAPS I'LL TAKE A COLD PILL.
PERHAPS I'LL TAKE A COLD PILL.
Receptionist, on phone: DR. WATKIN'S OFFICE.
UH, SIR...
THANK YOU, LEAH.
NOW GET ME THE CHIEF ON THE PHONE. THERE'S A GOOD GIRL.
"DRIXENOL."
YES?
I CAUGHT THIS ONE
WITH 6 MICROGRAMS OF STOLEN ADRENALINE.
IT'S NOT MINE. I SWEAR I WAS HOLDING IT FOR MY COUSIN.
OH, YEAH. I NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
TAKE HIM TO LOCKDOWN.
NEXT!
HEY, HEY, HEY. IT'S THE GERMINATOR!
OK, GUYS, YOU GOT ME THERE.
LET'S SAVE A LITTLE FOR THE CRIMINALS, ALL RIGHT?
JONES, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CAUGHT ANYTHING?
HEY, HEY. YOU SHOULDA SEEN THIS THING.
THIS AIN'T NO ORDINARY HOUSEHOLD GERM.
THIS THING'S BIGGER THAN ALL OF US.
THIS THING ISN'T EVEN FROM FRANK'S BODY.
IT'S LIKE A AL ROKER GERM, HEAVY D GERM!
Cop: YOU TALKIN' ABOUT THIS?
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
YEAH, UH...YOU KNOW,
HE'S SLOUCHING RIGHT NOW.
JONES!
IN MY OFFICE!
CHIEFY
DON'T CHIEFY-WEEFY ME! HAVE YOU SEEN THE HEADLINES?
THE PAPERS ARE CALLING IT THE MOST POWERFUL CRAMP
SINCE SHANE MADE US TRY THAT TAE-BO WORKOUT!
HOLD ON A SECOND--
I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT.
I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR BACKUP!
BUT ONCE AGAIN, YOU HAD TO DO IT YOUR OWN WAY!
MAN, I WAS RIGHT THERE! I COULDA DONE IT--
RIGHT! 78 TRILLION CELLS IN THE BODY,
ALL WORKING TOGETHER... YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS
HE CAN DO IT ALONE!
YOU EVER THINK THAT MIGHT BE YOUR PROBLEM, JONES?
WHAT?! OH, HELLO, MR. MAYOR.
THE MISSUS? OH, SHE'S GREAT.
YES. UH--YOU'RE KIDDING, SIR.
I'LL PUT A MAN RIGHT ON IT, SIR. YES, SIR.
STUPID POLITICAL DECISIONS!
NOW WHERE WAS I?
YOU WERE JUST STARTING TO SAY
HOW YOU WERE GIVING ME A PROMOTION
TO HEAD OF BRAIN SECURITY, I BELIEVE. YEP.
YOU KNOW WHAT, JONES? YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE IT IS TIME I GIVE YOU A CASE.
TALKIN' ABOUT WHAT, NOW?
WE HAVE A SITUATION IN THE THROAT,
AND I'M PUTTING YOU ON IT.
THANK YOU, CHIEF! THANK YOU, CHIEF!
YOU WON'T REGRET THIS. YOU'RE A GOOD MAN!
YOU'RE A FINE MAN. YOU'RE AN UPSTANDING MAN.
YEAH. WHATEVER YOU SAY.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS ON THE FENCE FOR A WHILE.
PEOPLE LIKE, GOOD MAN, BAD MAN, GOOD MAN, BAD MAN,
BUT NOW IT'S OFFICIAL--
YOU A GOOD MAN!
YOU DONE?
NOW OUR PILL IS GETTING SWALLOWED AS WE SPEAK.
SO I SUGGEST YOU GET YOUR NUCLEUS
DOWN TO THE STOMACH, PRONTO!
PILL
YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA TRUST YOU TO TAKE CARE
OF A SORE THROAT BY YOURSELF, DID YOU? NOW, GET OUTTA HERE.
OR I SWEAR TO FRANK, YOU'LL BE ON BUTT-HAIR PATROL
FOR THE NEXT 3 YEARS!
* WELCOME DOWNTOWN
* HERE WE GO AGAIN
* WELCOME DOWNTOWN
* HERE WE GO AGAIN...
RINKY-DINK, STINK,
PINKY PILL!
Male, over P.A.: THE WHITE ZONE IS FOR THE INGESTION
AND DIGESTION OF GASTRIC PASSENGERS ONLY.
NO PARKING.
Female, over P.A.: LAST CALL. PEANUT NOW BOARDING
FOR INTESTINAL TRACTS AND LIVER
WITH DIRECT SERVICE TO THE COLON.
NOW BOARDING.
* HARE, HARE
* HARE KRISHNA
Male, over P.A.: PASSENGERS ARRIVING...
ALL RIGHT.
HEY!
Female, over P.A.: ATTENTION. ALL FAT CELLS
PROCEED DIRECTLY TO THE LOVE HANDLES.
THANK YOU.
OH, YES, MR. MAYOR.
NO, SIR. IT HASN'T ARRIVED YET.
WHAT THE--
MMM! LOOK OUT, NOW!
DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO LOOK AT MY NOTES ON YOUR SPEECH?
THE IN-BOX. YES.
IT SAYS "IN" RIGHT ON IT, SIR.
I'LL CHECK BACK LATER.
ALL RIGHT. GOOD-BYE.
WELL, WELL, WELL!
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
SOMEBODY BEEN WORKIN' OUT!
LEAH, YOU LOOKIN' FINE, GIRL.
MIGHTY FINE.
OH, JONES. DID THEY HAVE TO ASSIGN YOU TO THIS?
SPIT. WASN'T MY IDEA, BUT NOW I'M STARTING TO LIKE IT.
BABY, WHEN ARE YOU AND ME GONNA HOOK UP?
I KNOW THIS LITTLE SPOT RIGHT BEHIND THE EYE.
HAS THE PERFECT VIEW.
PERFECT FOR A LITTLE RENDEZVOUS BETWEEN ME AND YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
'CAUSE I BEEN SAYING IT A LONG TIME.
JONES, WHAT IN THE WORLD
MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD EVER GO OUT WITH YOU?
WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? I'M A LEGEND, GIRL!
THE CHICKS LINE UP TO DIVIDE WITH ME!
OH, REALLY?
'CAUSE TO ME YOU LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF CELL
WHO MOSTLY DIVIDES WITH HIMSELF.
WHOO! WHO CUT OFF THE HEAT?
SOMEBODY PAY THE BILL! IT'S COLD IN HERE!
Female, over P.A.: NOW ARRIVING WITH SOME MILK,
A COLD PILL WITH A PLEASANT FRUITY FLAVOR.
Leah: WOW. THIS IS HUGE!
DON'T BE ALL IMPRESSED,
'CAUSE 99% OF THAT'S JUST SUGAR, YOU KNOW.
YEAH? AND 99% OF YOU IS JUST STUPID.
Ozzy: OOH, LIKE I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
WHAT IS THAT CHERRY STANK?
SPECIAL AGENT DRIXOBENZOMETAPHEDRAMINE.
OOH! OOH!
DRIXENOL, THE BRAND THAT EASES YOUR COUGHS AND SNEEZES.
WARNING: DO NOT EXCEED RECOMMENDED DOSAGE.
IF SYMPTOMS PERSIST, CONSULT A PHYSICIAN.
MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY.
PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD NOT HANDLE BROKEN TABLETS.
WOW. I'M FEELIN' BETTER ALREADY.
YOU CAN CALL ME DRIX.
WELCOME TO THE CITY OF FRANK.
MM-HMM. I'D LIKE TO EXAMINE YOUR IRRITATED AREAS.
WHOO! NEVER ON THE FIRST DATE, DRIPS.
DRIX. THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
NO. I THINK YOU SAID DRIPS WITH A "P."
WHATEVER. JONES...
THIS AIN'T WORKING OUT.
I'M GONNA CALL THE CHIEF
AND ASK HIM TO ASSIGN SOMEONE ELSE.
WAIT.
HOLD UP NOW. I NEED THIS JOB, LEAH.
COME ON, JUST GIVE ME A SHOT.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT NO SCREW-UPS. YOU DIG?
BABY,
I PROMISE EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
NOT AS FINE AS YOU, BUT FINE.
MAN, WHAT YOU BEEN EATIN'?
THAT'S MY... EFFERVESCENT PROPULSION.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT WE'RE DRIVING WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN.
I DON'T WANT NONE OF THOSE FRUITY BUBBLES
STINKIN' UP MY RIDE. YOU GOT THAT?
HMM...
HEY, YO, YO! AW, MAN!
LOOK WHAT YOU DOIN' TO MY BABY.
HEY, HEY! DON'T TOUCH MY RADIO!
WHERE YOU FROM, TOUGH STUFF?
I WAS DEVELOPED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO
WHERE I GRADUATED PHI BETA CAPSULE.
GREAT. GOT ME A COLLEGE BOY.
I RECEIVED MY FDA CERTIFICATION IN COLD AND FLU STUDIES
AS WELL AS A MASTERS IN MULTI-SYMPTOM RELIEF.
WHERE DID YOU STUDY? STUDY?
WHEN YOU GROW UP
ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE DIGESTIVE TRACT,
YOU DON'T GOT NO MONEY FOR NO FANCY SCHOOLS.
OH...
I'M NOT KIDDING, MAN.
MY HIGH SCHOOL WAS CRACK CENTRAL.
OH? NO, IT WAS IN THE CRACK!
RIGHT IN THE STANKY PUCKERED CENTER!
* I WANT KNOW YA...
WE WERE SO POOR,
WE LIVED OFF PEANUT BUTTER
AND CELLULITE SANDWICHES.
YOU EVER TRY TO BLOW DRY YOUR HAIR WITH A FART?
OK, I GET IT. YOU WERE POOR.
YOU BET. YOU EVER TRY TO MAKE A SNOWMAN
OUT OF TOILET PAPER CLING NOW, THAT'S POOR!
OK, PLEASE. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME VOMIT.
VOMIT? WE COULDN'T AFFORD NO VOMIT.
THAT'S FOR RICH FOLKS.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I WIPE MY EYES.
AW, YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT WIPIN'...
OK, YOU'RE ALL NEW,
SO FOLLOW MY LEAD, RIGHT? NOW--
YO. YO! WAIT UP!
DIDN'T THEY TEACH YOU NO MANNERS IN THAT IVY LEAGUE PETRI DISH?
MURPHY! IT'S FLARIN' UP AGAIN!
GIVE ME A STATUS ON THE PAIN RELIEF.
Murphy, over radio: WELL, WE HAVE
A REPORT OF A FOREIGN SUBSTANCE
IN UPPER RESPIRATORY SYSTEM.
HMM. INFLAMMATION AND GLANDULAR SWELLING.
WE MEET AGAIN.
DOUGY-DOUG, THE FIREBUG!
MY BOY IS HOT!
OSMOSIS JONES.
LIKE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS?
YOU CAN START REDIRECTING TRAFFIC OVER THERE.
WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
I'M IN CHARGE OF THIS SORE THROAT, BABY.
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
NO. STRAIGHT UP. NOW WHAT WE GOT?
IT'S JUST A ROUTINE SORE THROAT.
LOOKS LIKE A SALIVA BOAT WENT HAYWIRE AND CRASHED.
SALIVA BOAT? THAT'S PRETTY UNUSUAL.
KNOCK DOWN THAT HOT SPOT.
GET THAT LADDER TEAM OVER HERE!
STEP AWAY.
TAMPER-PROOF SEAL IS THERE FOR YOUR PROTECTION!
AH!
NOT MY SUEDES!
WHAT THE DILLY?
OH...
AIIEEE-HEEE-AAH! AAH! AAH!
POR FAVOR, PLEASE MAN, DON'T SHOOT!
LA MUERTE, MAN! ESTA AQUI!
HE'S GOING TO KILL US DEAD, HOMBRE!
NO, NO! TALK ENGLISH, MAN. WE AIN'T ON TELEMUNDO HERE.
LA MUERTE ROJA! HE'S COMING, MAN.
I SAW HIM!
I SAW HIM. I SAW HIM!
LA MUERTE ROJA--
Drix: * WHEN YOUR BODY'S FULL OF ACHES *
* A DRIXENOL IS ALL IT TAKES *
EXCUSE ME. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
I'M SOOTHING THE IRRITATION.
YOU JUST SOOTHED MY WITNESS INTO A GERMSICLE!
OH.
OH, GOSH. WELL, DON'T WORRY.
HE'LL BE BACK TO NORMAL IN A FEW DAYS.
A FEW DAYS IS TOO LATE. HE MIGHT HAVE SOME
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT WENT DOWN HERE.
OFFICER, NOTHING WENT DOWN HERE.
THIS IS JUST A COMMON SORE THROAT.
THIS IS A CRIME SCENE.
YO, YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING USEFUL?
GO PLUG SOME TURTLE WAX INTO THAT THING
AND WASH MY CAR!
NOW, THAT'S INFLAMMATION RELIEF.
LATER, DOUG.
BE COOL, OZ.
HEY, FELLAS, HOW'S IT FEEL WORKIN'
WITH THE TWO DUMBEST ANIMALS IN THE ZOO?
THEY'RE NOT TOO BAD.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M TALKING TO THE CAMELS!
HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!
WE'RE DUMB, AND THEY'RE TALKIN' TO THE CAMELS.
HA HA HA HA. EXCELLENT. UH-HUH.
OH, MAN.
I AM SO PSYCHED FOR THIS LONG WEEKEND.
GETTING OUTTA TOWN?
OUTTA TOWN?
I'M NOT GETTING OUTTA MY BATHROBE.
I'M JUST GONNA WHEEL A KEG INTO THE LIVING ROOM
AND PLOP MYSELF DOWN ON THE SOFA IN FRONT OF THE TV.
YOU KNOW, SPEND A LITTLE QUALITY TIME
WITH THE WIFE AND KIDS.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
THAT'S BRUNO. HIS TUMMY'S STILL UPSET.
NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE NASTY, SKANKY, SWEATY SMELL.
OH, THAT'S MY DAUGHTER SHANE.
SHE WON'T BUY ME DEODORANT ANYMORE.
SAYS IT CAUSES CANCER.
DID THE FOOT FUNGUS PAY UP YET?
NAW. THAT GUY'S GETTIN' FLAKY ON US.
WELL, YOU AIN'T GONNA COLLECT NOTHIN' FROM HIM
UP HERE IN THE PIT.
NOW GET DOWN THERE,
SEND HIM A MESSAGE.
SO...
THIS IS WHERE THE SCUM OF FRANK
COMES TO FESTER.
HEY, YOU LOST, PAL?
THIS IS A PRIVATE SWEAT GLAND.
NOW, BEAT IT!
I'M LOOKIN' FOR VOLUNTEERS, YO.
SOME NASTY GERMS WHO WANT IN ON A BIG SCORE.
YO, RED, WE RUN THE RACKETS AROUND HERE.
TAKE YOUR LITTLE HUSTLE SOMEPLACE ELSE.
OH, BABY, THIS AIN'T ABOUT NO HUSTLE.
THIS IS ABOUT THE BADDEST ILLNESS Y'ALL HAVE EVER SEEN.
LOOK WHO THINKS HE'S THE EBOLA VIRUS, HUH?
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
EBOLA?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT EBOLA, BABY.
EBOLA IS A CASE OF DANDRUFF COMPARED TO ME!
ALL RIGHT, PAL. YOU'RE OUTTA HERE.
BRUISER, TAKE THIS PUNK UP TO THE FACE
AND BURY HIM IN A BLACKHEAD.
WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH YOU,
IT'LL TAKE A SWEDISH FACIALIST
AND 6 STEAMIN' WASHCLOTHS TO GET YOU OUT!
OH, SOUNDS LIKE A GAS, BABY.
BRING IT ON.
BRUISER, WHAT ARE YOU, A SISSY MARY?
Thrax: HMM...
Lead germ: WHAT YOU DOING?
CHE-- WHAT'S HE DOIN'--
UH-AH!
OH!
YOU AIN'T SO TOUGH, HUH?
THAT WAS NOTHIN'!
WHOA!
SO, UH...
WHAT KINDA SICKNESS DO YA HAVE IN MIND...
BOSS?
DEADLY.
HEY, DAD. HEY, UNCLE BOB.
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.
Bob: HEY.
SO DAD, I STOPPED BY THE CAMPING STORE,
AND I GOT SOME NUTS AND BERRIES AND STUFF
FOR THE FATHER/DAUGHTER HIKE.
UH, RIGHT, SHANE. UH, ON THIS HIKE,
IS THAT TEACHER OF YOURS GONNA BE THERE?
UM, YEAH. MY WHOLE CLASS IS. WHY?
I DON'T KNOW. I WAS JUST THINKING
I MIGHT TAKE A RAIN CHECK.
DAD, MRS. BOYD ISN'T STILL MAD AT YOU.
NO, IT--
I DIDN'T THINK SO. I WAS JUST--
WE COULD FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO.
YOU KNOW, YESTERDAY, WITHOUT THINKING,
I DID ALL MY HIKING FOR THE WEEK.
I HIKED TO THE LIQUOR STORE,
I HIKED TO THE CIGARETTE WAREHOUSE...
BUT DAD, YOU SAID--
I SAID I WAS GONNA THINK ABOUT IT.
IT'S A HOLIDAY WEEKEND.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE'RE TOGETHER, RIGHT?
YEAH. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
YEAH. WELL, I, UH...
I HAVE SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL UP MY SLEEVE.
AHEM. UM, SWEETHEART,
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RATTLESNAKE
SWALLOW A FOOTBALL?
I DON'T THINK SHE HAS.
OH, IT'S FUN. COME ON.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
THANK YOU, UNCLE BOB.
OH, THAT--HA HA HA! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT!
Drix: WHAT ARE WE WASTING TIME HERE FOR?
DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU
I AM ON A STRICT 12
FIRST THE THROAT, THEN THE NOSE, THEN THE ACHES AND PAINS.
YEAH, I GOT IT.
REAL IMPORTANT STUFF.
JUST WAIT IN THE CAR.
I GOT POLICE WORK TO DO.
COULD YOU GIVE ME ONE GLAZED
AND ONE WITH A JELLY
UH-HUH.
Librarian: BRAIN MEMORY LIBRARY.
CAN I HELP YOU?
YOU GOT ANY INFORMATION
ON SOMETHING CALLED...
"EL MORRY ROHO"?
STAND BY. I'LL CHECK.
BUT WE'RE REALLY ALL ABOUT
SPORTS STATISTICS HERE.
AH!
Librarian: SIR?
YEAH, I'M HERE. WHAT YOU GOT?
LA MUERTE ROJA. THAT'S SPANISH.
IT MEANS THE RED DEATH.
THE RED DEATH?
WHAT'S THAT, SOME KIND OF TACO SAUCE?
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY.
Osmosis: HELLO?
OH!
YO!
YO, DRIPS!
YOU EVER HEAR OF THE RED DEATH?
LOOK ALIVE, BOYS.
WE GOT DUST AT 9 O'CLOCK.
EAT HOT NOSE JUICE, DUST!
WELL, WE'RE HERE. YOU HAPPY?
YOU HEAR THAT?
QUICK, JONES, THE DAM IS UNDER ATTACK!
HEY, CHILL, PILL.
IT'S JUST SOME SNOT GUNS BOOGER-COATING SOME DUST.
AH--OH.
AAH!
NOW...GET TO WORK!
THIS IS YOUR BIG PLAN?
A SORE THROAT, A STUFFY NOSE?
PEOPLE'RE JUST GONNA THINK YOU'RE--
A COMMON COLD.
UNTIL I MAKE MY MOVE,
THAT'S PRECISELY WHAT I WANT THEM TO THINK.
YO, CHECK IT OUT! WE GOT COPS HERE!
Drix: HEY, LOOK.
YO, YO, YO, BE CAREFUL!
THAT'S A POLLEN POD, MAN.
FRANK IS TOTALLY ALLERGIC TO THIS STUFF.
I DIDN'T KNOW FRANK HAD ALLERGIES.
OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T.
NO USELESS PILL KNOWS NOTHIN'
ABOUT WHAT GOES ON IN HERE. WHOOPS!
JONES...
IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL JAMES BROWN--
GET DOWN!
JAMES WHO?
AH...AH...AH...
CHOO!
AAH!
HEY. HEY, FRANK.
DANNY.
YOU NITWIT!
YOU COULD HAVE DAMAGED THE DAM!
RELAX. THIS BABY WAS BUILT TO LAST.
SOLID CARTILAGE.
OH, YOU'RE AN ENGINEER NOW. EXCUSE ME.
I NEED TO TEST THE MUCUS VISCOSITY.
HEY, FRANK! FRANK!
HOW COME YOU'RE LEAVING SO EARLY?
IT'S ALL SHOVELED OUT, AND THE HIPPO'S ASLEEP.
I'M GONNA TAKE SHANE TO DOCKY'S FOR DINNER.
OH, YEAH? DID YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO DO
WITH SHANE THIS WEEKEND?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I DID GREAT.
Ozzy: I GUARANTEE YOU,
THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS DAM.
SO, UH, YOU WANT ME TO TAKE CARE OF 'EM?
NO. HIT ALL THE PRESSURE VALVES.
THEY'RE ABOUT TO BLOW THE SCENE.
OH!
WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET BLEEDIN'
FRANK--
THE MEMBRANE IS CRACKING, YOU--
OH!
WHOA!
DRIPS!
I THINK YOU MISSED A SPOT!
COME ON, FELLAS. GO, GO, GO!
YO!
STOP!
IMMUNITY!
WHAT THE FRANK--
WAIT A MINUTE--
WHOA-OA!
AAH! OH!
AAH!
WHOA!
NOSE HAIRS!
WATCH OUT!
OHHHHH!
Drix: WE'RE GOING TO DIE!
OH! AAH!
GEE, FRANK, I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.
CAN YOU USE A TISSUE?
I DON'T HAVE ONE.
WELL, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?
WHOA!
BETTER?
MUCH BETTER.
I GOTTA GO GET HER.
ALL RIGHT.
SHE'LL BE EXCITED.
SHE'LL PROBABLY CALL YA. GOOD.
OH...UH!
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, NONE OF THIS--EWW--
WOULD HAVE EVER HAPPENED.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I--I--
HAVE A NOSE TO DRY.
Broadcaster: THIS IS NERVE NETWORK NEWS...
GOOD EVENING.
IN AN ACT OF SELFLESS BRAVERY,
A COLD TABLET STOPPED
A RUNNY NOSE TODAY.
THE HEROIC TABLET IS DUE TO BE HONORED LATER THIS AFTERNOON.
TRUDY?
WELL, IN LIGHTER NEWS,
THERE WAS PANDA-MONIUM
IN THE STOMACH TODAY
AS SOME NEW ANIMAL CRACKERS ARRIVED.
THEY ARE ADORABLE, AREN'T THEY? HMM.
AND NOW WE GO LIVE TO CEREBELLUM HALL
FOR A SPECIAL ADDRESS FROM MAYOR PHLEGMMING.
OK, MAYOR.
IN 5, 4,
3...
GOOD EVENING, CITIZENS OF FRANK.
IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS OF THE CAMPAIGN,
MY OPPONENT HAS THROWN AROUND A LOT OF FANCY WORDS
TO TRY TO CONFUSE THE ISSUES,
WORDS LIKE...EXERCISE,
LOW-FAT,
AND DIET...
WORDS DESIGNED TO SCARE US
INTO CHANGING WHAT HAS WORKED
FOR SO MANY YEARS.
WELL, I SAY LET'S STAY THE COURSE.
REMEMBER, A FAT FRANK IS A HAPPY FRANK.
WHAT? THAT'S NOT WHAT I WROTE.
I PROPOSE SOMETHING THAT EVERY ORGANISM IN THIS CITY
WILL ENJOY.
I GIVE YOU...
A DREAM VACATION
TO THE ANNUAL CHICKEN WING FESTIVAL
IN BUFFALO, NEW YORK!
FINAL PLANS HAVE BEEN MADE,
AND NOTHING...
IS GOING TO STAND IN OUR WAY!
Leah: AND WE'RE OUT.
SIR, THAT WASN'T THE SPEECH WE AGREED ON. I THOUGHT--
YES, YES, YES.
WHERE'S THE LITTLE TWERP IN THE WHEELCHAIR?
OH, HELLO, JOHNNY. HOW YA DOING?
CONGRATULATIONS, BOYS!
EXCELLENT WORK IN THE NOSE TODAY!
COME ON OVER HERE. LET'S GET SOME PICTURES.
I WANT THE CAPTION ON THIS ONE TO READ,
"MAYOR AND PILL STOP COLD...COLD."
MR. MAYOR, UH, MR. MAYOR, EXCUSE ME, SIR,
BUT WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
HA HA HA! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, JONES?
I THINK WHATEVER IT WAS IN THE SINUSES
IS A LOT MORE THAN A COMMON COLD.
SIR, DON'T LISTEN TO JONES.
HIS DIAGNOSTIC SKILLS ARE REMEDIAL AT BEST!
YOU'RE THE LITTLE CHERRY ASPIRIN
WHO ICED A KEY WITNESS TO A VIRAL ATTACK!
THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
YEAH, THE KIND OF ACCIDENT
ONLY A TIME-RELEASE DIPSTICK LIKE YOURSELF
WOULD HAVE.
OH! I AM SO SICK OF YOU! THAT'S IT!
I CAN'T WORK WITH YOU!
YOU CAN'T WORK WITH ME? I CAN'T WORK WITH YOU!
OFFICERS, PLEASE, PLEASE!
JONES, WHAT IS THIS--THIS VIRUS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
THE VIRUS THAT TORCHED THE THROAT.
THE VIRUS THAT CAUSED THOSE HALF-INCH SNOT CRESTS
I WAS JUST SURFIN'!
THOSE SNOT CRESTS WERE CAUSED BY THE SNEEZE,
AND THE SNEEZE WAS CAUSED BY YOU!
YEAH? THEN HOW COME I SAW THAT VIRAL-LOOKIN' MOTHER
FLEEIN' THE SCENE OF THE CRIME? TELL ME!
SIR, MAYBE WE SHOULD
PUT THE CITY ON FULL ALERT.
YOU KNOW, LIQUIDS, BED REST.
YOU KNOW. JUST TO BE SAFE.
WE WILL DO NO SUCH THING.
I'M NOT GOING TO POSTPONE OUR TRIP
JUST BECAUSE THE WHITE BLOOD CELL
WITH THE WORST RECORD IN FRANK
THOUGHT HE SAW SOMETHING.
LISTEN, FROM NOW ON, KEEP THOSE OPINIONS
IN THAT MUSHY LITTLE HEAD OF YOURS,
OR YOU'RE GONNA FIND YOURSELF
IN OUR NEXT NOSEBLEED.
UNDERSTOOD?
SON, I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OF THIS.
NOW, WHY DON'T WE FIND YOU ANOTHER,
MORE CAPABLE OFFICER TO WORK WITH.
UH, SIR, UH...
IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU,
I THINK I'LL STAY WITH JONES.
WOW.
SUIT YOURSELF.
YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
THE LAST THING I NEED IS YOUR SYMPATHY.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT SYMPATHY.
I WAS SENT INTO THIS BODY TO MAKE IT FEEL BETTER,
SO IF THIS ALLEGED VIRUS
HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT MISSION,
I MUST PURSUE IT.
YEAH. WHATEVER.
HEY, JONES, WHAT DID THE MAYOR MEAN
WHEN HE SAID YOU HAD A RECORD?
YOU DID SOMETHING TERRIBLE, DIDN'T YOU?
DRIPS, SOMETIMES BEING TOO CAREFUL
IS ALL IT TAKES.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO
I WAS CRUISING THE DIGESTIVE TRACT,
JUST MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS.
OUTSIDE, IT WAS SHANE'S SCHOOL'S SCIENCE FAIR,
AND EVERYONE WAS REAL EXCITED,
'CAUSE THE WINNER WAS GONNA GET THEIR PICTURE
ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE LOCAL PAPER.
THINK ANYONE'S GONNA LIKE MY VOLCANO?
ARE YOU KIDDING? ALL THESE OTHER PARENTS
ARE GOING HOME SAD,
'CAUSE THEIR KIDS' PROJECTS
ARE CARDBOARD AND GLITTER PAINT AND SCIENCE.
SHANE, YOURS IS ART.
Woman: WOW, WHAT A GREAT TEPEE.
TEPEE? MRS. DELIRIOUS, COME ON.
HONEY, I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT THE COMPETITION.
WHY DON'T YOU SEE IF YOU CAN LEARN THESE PEOPLE
SOMETHING ABOUT VOLCANOS?
HEY, PARTNER. WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
THESE? OH, THESE ARE POLLUTED OYSTERS.
WELL--WELL, THEY WERE POLLUTED.
I REPLANTED THEM 6 MONTHS AGO.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S HOW LONG THE STATE SAYS
YOU GOT TO DO IT FOR.
AND EVERY TIME THE TIDE CAME IN,
IT FLUSHED ALL THE-- THE BAD STUFF OUT.
CAN YOU EAT THEM?
WELL, IF MY HYPOTENUSE IS CORRECT,
SURE...YOU...
WELL, UH... YEAH, DEFINITELY.
YOU GOT YOURSELF A SALE.
MMM.
MMM!
ALL RIGHT, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO CHECK YOUR MATH ON THAT ONE.
Osmosis: I WAS WORKING THE KIDNEYS
WHEN I HEARD ABOUT A 631 IN PROGRESS--
THAT'S INCOMING SHELLFISH.
SO I HEADED DOWN TO THE STOMACH,
JUST TO BE SAFE.
P.A. System: UNSCHEDULED SHELLFISH
NOW ARRIVING AT GATE 6.
AND YOU MUST BE SHANE'S DAD.
GUILTY AS CHARGED.
OH...
FRANK DETORRI.
FRANK, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
I AM MRS. BOYD.
I AM SHANE'S SCIENCE AND P.E. TEACHER.
AND I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU, YOUR DAUGHTER SHANE,
I AM JUST ABSOLUTELY CRAZY ABOUT HER.
SHE IS A DOLL.
WELL, IF YOU MEAN THAT, I'M GONNA KEEP HER.
OH, MY GO--HA HA!
THAT WAS SO FUNNY!
OH, MY GOD, I'VE GOT THE GIGGLES.
OHH!
SHE'S A SWEETIE PIE, THOUGH.
DID SHE TELL YOU THAT WHEN SHE GROWS UP,
SHE WANTS TO MOVE TO THE CITY
AND HELP PEOPLE?
NO KIDDING?
YOU MEAN, LIKE A CONCIERGE OR SOMETHING?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NOT--UH, LIKE POOR PEOPLE.
OH, YEAH. SHE TOLD ME THAT.
YEAH. YOU KNOW, I REALLY JUST HAVE TO SAY, FRANK,
IT'S JUST SO WONDERFUL TO SEE SHANE PARTICIPATING
IN THE SCIENCE FAIR.
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SINCE HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY,
SHE'S HAD A REALLY HARD TIME SORT OF...
BEING PART OF THE GROUP ACTIVITIES.
YEAH. SHE'S GONNA BE OK.
YEAH.
Osmosis: AND THEN I SAW HIM.
HE RODE IN ON THE CLAMMIEST-LOOKING OYSTER
I'D EVER SEEN.
MR. DETORRI?
OHH...
ARE YOU OK?
OHH...
THOSE OYSTERS.
THE OYSTERS?
OH, YEAH. THAT'S ZACK'S PROJECT.
HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.
THE DOCTOR SAYS THAT HE HAS A BRAIN
THE SIZE OF A TANGERINE.
MMM...
YEAH. SO WE SORT OF GAVE HIM THIS PROJECT
JUST TO SORT OF PUSH HIM ALONG.
I THINK HE JUST STARTED IT THIS MORNING,
WHICH IS SORT OF FUNNY.
BUT WE'RE GONNA GIVE HIM AN "A" ANYWAY.
MR. DETORRI?
Osmosis: THERE WAS NO TIME TO ASK QUESTIONS,
SO I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.
WHOA, LOOK AT THAT GUY!
Crowd: OHH!
Mrs. Boyd: OH! OH-HO!
OOH! OOH!
Osmosis: YOU CAN PROBABLY GUESS WHICH PHOTO
MADE IT TO THE FRONT PAGE OF THE PAPER THE NEXT DAY.
OVERNIGHT, FRANK BECAME THE TOWN LAUGHINGSTOCK.
THE PHOTO GOT PICKED UP AND RAN IN EVERY DAILY
ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
HE EVEN GOT FIRED FROM HIS JOB
AT THE PEA SOUP FACTORY.
LUCKY FOR US, OUR OLD FRIEND BOB
HOOKED UP FRANK WITH A JOB AT THE ZOO.
IT WAS A 90% CUT IN PAY,
BUT IT WAS THE BEST WE COULD DO.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, NONE OF THIS HELPED SHANE.
AND AS FOR ME, I GOT SUSPENDED
FOR UNNECESSARY FORCE.
SINCE THEN, NOT A DAY HAS GONE BY
THAT I HAVEN'T WONDERED, "DID I DO THE RIGHT THING?"
YOU KNOW, JONES, FROM YOUR DESCRIPTION,
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE JUSTIFIED.
EXCUSE ME?
OYSTERS ARE A BREEDING GROUND
FOR ANY NUMBER OF DANGEROUS BACTERIA.
THEY ARE! THAT'S WHAT I BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYBODY!
DARN RIGHT, THEY ARE!
I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE ON MY SIDE.
I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE RIGHT.
UH, EXCUSE ME, SIR. WE HAVE A VERY STRICT
"NO SHOES, NO SERVICE" POLICY.
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
I BEG YOUR PARDON, IS THAT HOW YOU TREAT
THE HANDICAPPED IN DOCKY'S?
HANDICAPPED?
I HAVE A CHRONIC INGROWN TOE CONDITION,
AND DOCTORS SAY IT'S ONLY A SHORT TIME
BEFORE I WON'T BE ABLE TO WEAR
EVEN THE ROOMIEST OF FOOTWEAR.
I'LL BRING YOUR MENUS.
LOOK, WOULD YOU BRING SOME CLAM STRIPS
AND SOME STEAMERS WHEN YOU COME, TOO, PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
SO, DAD, WHAT'S THE BIG SURPRISE?
WELL, I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GO ON A TRIP THIS WEEKEND, SO...
TA-DA!
BUFFALO?
BUFFALO, NEW YORK.
THE BUFFALO WING FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND.
OH. YEAH, GREAT.
SO, WHAT'S THE BIG SURPRISE?
WE GOT TICKETS!
I CALLED A SCALPER.
LOOK!
99 KINDS OF WINGS.
128 DIFFERENT DIPPING SAUCES.
YOU LOVE MATH. CRUNCH THE NUMBERS ON THAT
AND TELL ME THE POSSIBILITIES
AREN'T INFINITE.
LOOK! LOOK! HERE YOU ARE.
MISS CHICKEN WING FESTIVAL.
SEE THIS?
HE'S THE CHAMPION.
BUT HE WON'T BE FOR LONG.
BECAUSE I'M COMING.
I'M COMING--I'M COMING TO GET YOU, BABY.
FUN
YEAH. THAT'S-- THAT'S REALLY COOL, DAD.
Mayor: HA HA HA HA HA.
SEE? I TOLD YOU SHE'D BE EXCITED.
NOW, TIDY UP, WILL YOU? HERE WE GO.
OK, FRANK, THIS IS YOUR, UM...
CONSCIENCE SPEAKING.
NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY.
THIS HIKING TRIP MEANS THE WORLD TO HER.
FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE IT WORK.
USE THAT CHARM.
WHAT'S WRONG NOW?
OH, GEE...
OH, IT'S THIS DAMN TOE.
DO ME A FAVOR, HUH?
DON'T YOU GET OLD.
LISTEN TO THE TOE.
DON'T YOU GET OLD.
HEY, BOSS, LOOKS LIKE YOUR PLAN WORKED.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I GOT THIS CITY EXACTLY WHERE I WANT IT.
HA HA!
SO, WHAT ABOUT THE COP AND THE PILL?
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY IF THEY GIVE US A PROBLEM,
* FI-RE
* BOM, BOM, BOM, BOM, BOM, BOM, BOW *
OW!
* OH, HEAR MY BEAT ALL ACROSS THE WORLD *
* YOUR SOUL GOES OUT TO ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS *
COME ON, BROTHER! LET'S GET DOWN! LET'S GET DOWN!
YOU KNOW MONEY ON THE WOOD MAKE THE GAME GO GOOD.
5 BUCKS SAYS SIZE DON'T MATTER.
[CHATTERING, SQUEALING]
GET HIM! COME ON! LET'S DO THIS THING NOW.
CHICKENPOCK FIGHTS.
GET BACK! GET HIM!
YEAH! YEAH, THAT'S MY BABY.
TRY THE HEADLOCK.
HEY, THAT'S A VIRUS.
WE SHOULD ARREST HIM.
NO, MAN THAT USED TO BE A VIRUS.
NOW HE'S ON OUR SIDE.
THAT'S CHILL. HE'S A FLU SHOT.
THAT'S FUNNY. HE DOESN'T LOOK FLU-ISH.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY HERE
AND WATCH THE MAESTRO WORK.
HEY, CHILL. CHILL! DON'T Y'ALL KNOW
POCK FIGHTING'S AGAINST THE LAW?
HEY, HEY! HEY, WHERE Y'ALL GOING?
THANKS A LOT, JUNIOR. YOU JUST COST ME 20.
MONEY AIN'T GONNA BE YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM,
IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE SINUSES.
HEY, I WAS INJECTED INTO THIS BODY
TO RAT ON INFLUENZA ONLY,
AND THIS DON'T SOUND LIKE INFLUENZA TO ME.
NOW, BEAT IT!
I BET JOHNNY STREPTOCOCCUS AND THE MELANOMA FAMILY
WILL BE VERY INTERESTED
TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FLU SHOT WORK.
YOU CAN'T JACK ME ON THAT, BROTHER.
I'M IN THE VIRUS PROTECTION PROGRAM.
HEY! WHAT? UHH!
Drix: YOU, VIRUS.
I BELIEVE CHILDREN'S STRENGTH
OUGHT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
UH-OH, YOU DONE DONE IT NOW, CHILL.
THIS GUY'S A PSYCHO COP.
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO SPILL IT,
BUT IT'S TOO LATE.
THIS GUY JUST GOT OFF THE THORAZINE.
NOW HE'S CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!
HE'S GOING EL POLLO LOCO ON YOUR CRAZY BEHIND!
I CAN'T LOOK. I JUST CAN'T LOOK.
Chill: ALL RIGHT!
AAH!
THE GUY'S BIG TIME. HE GOES BY THE NAME OF THRAX.
GO TO THAT NEW PLACE, THE ZIT, ON THE FOREHEAD.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT. IT'S HUGE.
THERE'S A BIG MEETING THERE TONIGHT.
I'M OUT! AAH!
BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT FROM ME.
YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT FROM ME!
WHOO-HOO! NEXT TIME, I'LL BE THE BAD COP.
YOU ARE A BAD COP.
YO, WHO YOU CALLING A BAD COP?
* I MEAN, NO WORDS
* WERE EVER SPOKEN
* WHEN SHE PASSED AWAY
* I CRIED AND CRIED ALL DAY *
Radio: * ALONE AGAIN, NATURALLY *
Drix: MY, WHAT BIG ZITS HE HAS.
HOW DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN?
Osmosis: YOU WASH YOUR FACE WITH FRIED CHICKEN, THAT'S HOW.
Female club goer: ...LAST WEEK?
ALL RIGHT, YOU COME ON IN.
OH, THANK YOU!
HEY, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD UP, NOW.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
TO GET OUR COOTIE!
LOOKING LIKE THAT? THEY'LL TEAR YOU APART.
YOU GOT TO GET SPIFFY.
SPIFFY?
EEE--EEE...
AAH!
WHOO...WHOO...
OHH!
AHH!
OH, BLEH...
AHH! HYUH!
PEEP THIS. CHECK IT OUT.
HMM. PLIABLE CELLULAR DYNAMICS.
WHAT AN INGENIOUS DEFENSE MECHANISM.
OOH! OOH! LET ME TRY.
HYUH...OHH...
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK YOU SHOULD GUARD THE CAR.
OH, NO. THIS IS MY MISSION, TOO.
I INSIST ON GOING IN WITH YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT WE GOT TO GET YOU SOMETHING TO WEAR.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING, CROWD TALKING]
ARE YOU SURE THIS DISGUISE IS WORKING?
OH, YEAH. YEAH. TRUST ME, IT'S PERFECT.
PERFECT.
* SEE ME CRUISING IN MY CADDY *
* FOLKS, THEY LIKE TO CALL ME DADDY *
* COOL WHEN I'M STYLIN'
* JUST ROAMING ON THE ISLAND *
* I'M COOL
* DADDY COOL
* CALL ME COOL
* DADDY COOL
* CALL ME COOL
WE GOT COMPANY. BE COOL.
NOW, TRY TO RELAX. FIT IN.
SHAKE A TAIL CELL OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T DANCE.
I--I HAVE NO LEFT FEET.
YOU DON'T DANCE? NO.
YOU DON'T DANCE? NO, I--
COME ON, NOW DON'T TELL ME
YOU AIN'T NEVER GOTTEN JIGGY WIT' IT.
UH, I DON'T BELIEVE I HAVE. UH--
COME ON, BABY! GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF THIS!
OH, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.
HERE YOU GO.
OH, YEAH, BABY, THAT'S IT!
GET DOWN! SHAKE IT UP, BABY!
DON'T LET IT ALL SETTLE AT THE BOTTOM!
SHAKE THAT GEL CAP! SHAKE IT!
OH, MAMA. YO!
YOU'S A BIG, BAD CELL. WON'T YOU BACK THAT CELL UP.
YOU'S A FINE CELL! WON'T YOU--
AAH! ALL RIGHT, YOU STAY HERE AND PRACTICE.
BOY, YOU NEED IT. OW!
IF I'M NOT BACK HERE IN FIVE,
YOU COME LOOKING. OK?
AAH! OOH! OW!
* MACKIN' TO THIS FAT BEAT
* THEY'S PUSHING THROUGH MY BACK SEAT *
* YOU KNOW I GOT THAT GANGSTA LEAN *
* THEY TREAT ME LIKE THE MAYOR *
* 'CAUSE I'M THE BIGGEST PLAYA *
MACKIN' ALL HONEYS
UP HERE IN THE "D," BABY!
* I RIP, I ROCK, I ROLL, G *
* I TRIM MY HAIR WITH THE FLOWBEE *
* GOT SOUL, G, LIKE AL GREEN *
* COLD COOLIN' LIKE THE A-TEAM *
OOH!
* SAN FRANCISCO
* I'M SHOOTING LIKE A PISTOL *
* I'M SO SLICK, I'M CRISCO *
* DADDY LIKES TO DISCO
YO, BARKEEP, WHAT YOU GOT?
UHH!
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
NO, NO, NO!
THIS IS JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT--
EXTRA DISGUSTING.
BAH!
BLAH!
HMM.
Thrax: MY PLAN IS SIMPLE.
3 TEAMS WILL MOVE THROUGH THE CRANIAL ARTERY,
AND ONE THROUGH THE NASAL PASSAGE.
WE ARE GOING TO THE BRAIN, BABY!
AND WE ARE GONNA STEAL US ONE OF THESE.
NOW THIS LITTLE SUCKER COMES FROM A PLACE CALLED
THE HYPOTHALAMUS GLAND.
THE HYPO-HOPPO- WHAT
HYPOTHALAMUS.
CONTROLS THE TEMPERATURE FOR THE ENTIRE BODY.
WE ARE GONNA MARCH RIGHT IN THERE
AND WE ARE GOING TO TAKE THE PRIZE.
THEN MY MAN FRANK'S GONNA HEAT UP
LIKE A SIDEWALK ON A SUMMER DAY.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT A ZIT.
I MEAN, WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT YOU TO HELP ME.
YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE COPS?
OR MAYBE SHANE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
ABOUT THE 200-YARD RESTRAINING ORDER
THAT'S STILL IN EFFECT.
PLEASE, WE CAN'T DO THAT.
SHE'S BEEN HUMILIATED ENOUGH ALREADY.
OH, HO-HO-HO. "HUMILIATED."
I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT HUMILIATION.
YOU TURNED ME
INTO A WALKING AIR SICKNESS BAG.
MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS HUMILIATED.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE TEASING
THAT MY LITTLE SONS RALPH AND CHUCK
HAVE HAD TO ENDURE?
I KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER HURLY
HAD TO TRANSFER SCHOOLS.
SHIRLEY. MY DAUGHTER'S NAME IS SHIRLEY.
OH, THAT IS MUCH PRETTIER.
TOM BROKAW CALLED HER HURLY.
WHAT?
IT WAS A VERY CUTE PICTURE OF HER, THOUGH.
WE GOT TO GET THIS WATER UNDERNEATH OUR BRIDGE
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, FOR SHANE'S SAKE.
SHANE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
I WOULD NEVER HOLD ANYTHING
AGAINST ONE OF MY STUDENTS.
ALL RIGHT, THAT--
GET BACK TO WORK!
NOW ALL OF THIS IS GOING DOWN TONIGHT,
SO I WANT EVERYONE TO BE PREPARED.
TONIGHT?
UH, CAN'T WE DO IT NEXT WEEK?
ME AND MADCOW GOT TICKETS TO WRESTLEMANIA.
YOU SEE THIS?
THIS HERE LITTLE DNA BEAD COMES FROM A LITTLE GIRL
IN RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA.
DIDN'T LIKE TO WASH HER HANDS.
TOOK ME 3 WHOLE WEEKS.
AND THIS ONE--NICE LADY IN DETROIT, MOTOWN.
6 DAYS FLAT.
THEN THERE'S THIS OLD GUY IN PHILLY.
I KILLED HIM IN 72 HOURS.
YEAH, I'M GETTING BETTER AS I GO ALONG, BABY,
BUT THE PROBLEM IS, I NEVER SET A RECORD!
UNTIL MY MAN FRANK, THAT IS.
I'M GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN IN 48 HOURS!
GET MY OWN CHAPTER IN THE MEDICAL BOOKS.
All: HEH-HEH. YEAH. RIGHT.
UH, EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
I GOT ONE MORE QUESTION HERE.
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT, SAY, A WHITE BLOOD CELL
COULD DO TO STOP THIS EVIL PLAN?
YOU KNOW, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, THAT IS.
AND WHO ARE YOU?
WHO AM I
A BAD, BOOTY-SHAKING, PICKINOSIS.
YEAH, THAT'S WHO I AM.
I NEVER HEARD OF YOU.
THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU JUST GOT HERE.
BUT YOU ASK ANY OF THESE SUCKERS
WHEN IT COMES TO ILLING,
BAD, BOOTY-SHAKING PICKINOSIS
STANDS ABOVE ALL THE REST.
OW. THAT HURTS.
AAH!
HEY, THAT AIN'T NO GERM!
THAT'S A COP!
WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
AN OFFICER OF FRANK'S FINEST.
SOMEBODY LAY DOWN A TOWEL.
THIS IS GONNA BE MESSY...
ATTENTION, GERMS. YOU ARE SURROUNDED.
* UH-HUH, UH-HUH
* UH-HUH, UH-HUH, SURROUNDED *
YO, HAMMER, YOU CAN STOP DANCING.
* MM-HMM, MM-HMM, MM-HMM
OH.
HOO!
AAH!
AAH...JEEZ!
WHAT KEPT YOU?
MUERTE ROJO.
AAH! YOU'RE GONNA HURT ME! LET ME OUT OF HERE!
I JUST WANT YOU TO LIFT THIS RESTRAINING ORDER
FOR THIS WEEKEND,
SO I CAN DO THIS FATHER/DAUGHTER TRIP.
THE ANSWER IS NO, MR. DETORRI.
PLEASE?
THINK ABOUT IT OVERNIGHT.
IT WOULD MAKE A LITTLE GIRL
VERY HAPPY.
Drix: ONLY FOR USE AGAINST THE MOST STUBBORN
COLD SYMPTOMS.
DARN CHILD-PROOF CAPS...
GET HIM!
All: BLAH!
AAH!
OOH-AH!
WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO--
OOH! WHY YOU HIT SO HARD?
UH...UHH!
DANG IT, DRIX.
I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP HERE!
GIVE ME THAT THING!
OH!
OH, NO. NOT AGAIN.
WAH!
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WHITE ON YOUR LIPS.
OTHER SIDE.
UH-OH.
OHH...OOH!
GET OUT!
OUT!
THE ANSWER IS NO!
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
BRR!
THANKS. YOU SAVED MY CYTOPLASM IN THERE.
MR. THRAX HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!
MY NAME IS WHAT? MY NAME IS WHO?
JONES!
MY NAME IS AH! OSMOSIS JONES!
NOW LET'S CALL IN FOR A SCAB
AND GET BACK TO THE PRECINCT.
Chief: JONES, IN MY OFFICE.
HEY, HEY! WHO DIED?
OTHER THAN THRAX, THAT IS.
BRANDY! I MEAN, LEAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU REALLY DID IT NOW, JONES.
MR. MAYOR, I DIDN'T SEE YOU BACK THERE.
DISREGARDING ORDERS, DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC FLESH.
POPPING A PIMPLE WITHOUT A PERMIT!
WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING UP THERE?
WHAT WAS I DOING?
I WAS PROMOTING GOOD HEATH, SIR.
OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT?
SIR, HE WAS A LETHAL VIRUS.
IF WE HADN'T STOPPED HIM--
WE'D BE FRIED EGGS OFF OF FRANK'S DEAD BUTT!
WATCH YOUR MOUTH, KID. TALK LIKE THAT
COULD CAUSE A PANIC.
AT LEAST THAT WOULD START PEOPLE THINKING
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS BODY,
INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT SOME STUPID TRIP!
OK, JONES. YOU WANT US TO START THINKING?
WELL, HERE'S A THOUGHT.
YOU'RE FIRED!
UH, SIR-- MR. MAYOR--
I'LL NEED YOUR BADGE, MISTER.
FIGURES.
I FINALLY DO SOMETHING RIGHT FOR FRANK, AND I GET FIRED.
OSMOSIS...
PLEASE. WITHOUT JONES,
FRANK COULD HAVE BEEN IN MORTAL DANGER.
OH, MORTAL DANGER, HMM?
YOU'D LOVE TO PROVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, MR. DRIXENOL?
GET YOUR NAME WRITTEN UP
IN THE NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE.
SON, DO ME A FAVOR AND READ WHAT IT SAYS ON YOUR ARM?
"FOR THE TEMPORARY RELIEF
OF SYMPTOMS ASSOCIATED WITH--"
EXACTLY. TEMPORARY.
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A WANNABE, A PLACEBO,
A GENERIC BRAND, MARKED DOWN,
OVER-THE-COUNTER, USELESS TIC TAC.
NOW, GET OUT OF MY BODY!
TV announcer: IT APPEARS THAT CONTINUING COLD SYMPTOMS,
WHILE ANNOYING,
WILL NOT DERAIL PLANS FOR THE UPCOMING TRIP
TO THE ANNUAL BUFFALO CHICKEN WING FESTIVAL.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
I DON'T KNOW.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
THEY'RE MAKING THIS TOO EASY.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
YOU KNOW, IN ALL THE BODIES I'VE BEEN IN,
NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN WISE TO ME.
AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME,
AN IMMUNITY CELL HAS FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING,
AND THEY DON'T BELIEVE HIM.
CAN YOU TASTE THE IRONY IN THAT?
SHUT UP!
WHAT ARE YOU TWO LAUGHING AT?
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE BACK ON SCHEDULE.
BUT BOSS, WE'RE THE ONLY ONES LEFT.
MAYBE WE SHOULD INCUBATE FOR A WHILE?
YOU INCUBATE.
I SAID 48 HOURS, I'M GONNA MAKE MY DEADLINE.
OHH...OHH...
MEDICAL BOOKS AREN'T WRITTEN ABOUT LOSERS!
I'M NOT GOING.
YOU'RE NOT GOING WHERE, HON?
TO BUFFALO.
I'M NOT GOING.
HONEY, I'M-- WE'RE ALL PACKED.
BUFFALO'S GONNA BE A BLAST.
I'M GOING CAMPING WITH MY FRIENDS.
YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN US.
WELL, I DON'T THINK--
I'D REALLY LIKE YOU TO COME.
NO. NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, I--
YOU DON'T WANT ME HUFFING AND PUFFING AFTER YOU.
IF YOU WANT TO GO CAMPING, OK, I'LL--
I KNOW I CAN GET UNCLE BOB TO GO WITH ME TO BUFFALO.
I'M TIRED OF THIS. IT'S NOT FAIR.
I GO WHERE YOU WANT TO GO,
I EAT WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT.
DON'T YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF?
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.
WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT ME WHEN YOU PACKED ME
A FRIED SLIM JIM SANDWICH FOR LUNCH?
YEAH. IT WAS A TURKEY SLIM JIM.
YOU KNOW, DAD...
MAYBE IF YOU AND MOM
LISTENED TO ME A LITTLE MORE,
AND TOOK BETTER CARE OF YOURSELVES,
MAYBE SHE'D STILL BE HERE.
WILL YOU KNOCK OFF THAT HAMBURGER TALK?
COME HERE, HONEY. HEY...
YOUR MOM DIED...
BECAUSE SHE GOT SICK.
AND HOW DO YOU THINK YOU GET SICK?
GERMS.
IT'S THE WAY YOU EAT.
WHO'S THAT?
DID YOU KNOW MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDPAPPY
FOUGHT THE MEASLES?
YEP. THERE'S BEEN A JONES ON THE FORCE
EVER SINCE MY ANCESTORS CAME OVER
ON THE UMBILICAL CORD.
UNTIL NOW, THAT IS.
Guard: ALL RIGHT, LADIES. WRAP IT UP NOW.
WELL, I, UH...
I GUESS I SHOULD GET GOING.
WOULDN'T WANT FRANK TO BUILD UP AN IMMUNITY TO ME.
WHO KNOWS? MAYBE NEXT TIME HE TAKES DRIXINOL
IT'LL BE ABLE TO DO HIM SOME GOOD.
GOOD-BYE, DRIPS.
THAT'S DRIX.
WHATEVER.
* ONE TIME, BLOWING MY MIND *
* BUT DON'T YOU DECLINE A DIME *
* BABY BE MINE
* CRAIG DAVID
* IT'S ANOTHER ONE THAT YOU CALL, YEAH *
* LONELY HOURS, LONELY DAYS *
* YEAH
* NEVER MEANT TO DRIVE YOU AWAY *
* UH-HUH
* I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU, LADY *
* AND WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY
* IF ONLY, YEAH
* I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH YOU KICK SOMEBODY *
* AFTER YOU...OH, OH
* THAT'S RIGHT
* WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU SHOULD *
* LET YOUR FEELING SHOW, FEELING SHOW *
* YEAH
* AND EVEN THOUGH I'VE DONE YOU SO WRONG *
* DON'T YOU KNOW
* LIKE I KNOW, BABY
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
LET'S GET STARTED.
I DON'T NEED TO REMIND ANYONE
THAT TODAY IS OUR TRIP TO BUFFALO, NEW YORK.
FRANK WILL BE UP IN 20 MINUTES.
I DON'T WANT HIM SO MUCH AS LOSING AN EYELASH,
STUBBING HIS TOE TODAY.
* STARTING OVER
EXCUSE ME, SIR. WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SEE A FREE SCREENING?
WE'VE GOT A LIVE FEED HERE
BROADCASTING DREAMS ALL THE WAY
FROM THE SUBCONSCIOUS IN THE BRAIN.
* YOU SEE, YOU GOT THE KEY TO MY HEART *
Mrs. Boyd: YOU GET BACK TO WORK RIGHT NOW.
MMM.
THAT'S RIGHT, BIG BOY. YOU KEEP ON DREAMING.
AT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR HEALTH.
98.6.
A-HA! PERFECT.
[THRAX SLICES THROUGH DOOR]
UH, YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE.
HEH HEH HEH!
AAH!
Hypothalamus Cell: NO! NO! AAH!
BABY, YOU ARE LOOKING FINE TODAY.
MMM...YES.
OOH, YEAH!
HEH HEH HEH!
HA HA HA!
AND DON'T FORGET THAT DONUT SEAT CUSHION
WE TAKE TO THE FOOTBALL GAMES.
I DON'T WANT THE VOTERS IN THE HEMORRHOIDS
HAVING ANYTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.
SIR, SOMETHING FREAKY
IS GOING ON WITH THE WEATHER.
WE'RE PROBABLY DRINKING SOME HOT COFFEE.
SIR, LOOK AT THE MAP.
WHAT IS JONES IS RIGHT?
JONES? HA HA HA!
FUNNY, FUNNY--OHH!
YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR STUPID RE-ELECTION
THAN YOU CARE ABOUT ALL OUR LIVES.
SOMETHING'S GOING ON, AND I'M GOING
TO THE HYPOTHALAMUS TO CHECK IT OUT.
HYPO
LEAH, WAIT! WHO'S GOING TO ANSWER THE PHONES?
Dispatcher: ALL UNITS BE ADVISED.
WE HAVE A BREAK-IN.
SARGE?
NAH.
NOTHING DOWN THERE BUT BAD DREAMS.
[VOICES OVERLAPPING AND ECHOING]
HUH? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
Mrs. Boyd: OR MAYBE SHANE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
ABOUT THE 200-YARD RESTRAINING ORDER...
Shane: MAYBE IF YOU AND MOM
LISTENED TO ME A LITTLE MORE,
AND TOOK BETTER CARE OF YOURSELVES,
MAYBE SHE'D STILL BE HERE.
Zoo Superintendent: NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
Mrs. Boyd: GET OUT! EWW!
NO...UM...
YOU GET BACK TO WORK RIGHT NOW.
HUH?
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?
FRANCIS DETORRI, YOU STAND UP RIGHT NOW!
THRAX IS ALIVE!
THRAX IS ALIVE AND HE'S IN THE BRAIN!
Cell: OH, GREAT, PAL! SPOIL THE ENDING!
HEY, BUDDY, WHAT TEMPERATURE YOU GOT?
98.6. WAIT A MINUTE, IS THIS THING BROKEN AGAIN?
DRIX!
YOU GET THOSE SKID MARKS OUT OF MY CLASS, MISTER!
OUT THE DOOR, OUT THE DOOR,
OUT THE DOOR!
WHEW! THIS CAT WAS SICK
BEFORE I EVEN GOT HERE.
Announcer: NOW BOARDING! THE 9:37 WITH NON-STOP...
TICKETS, PLEASE.
KEEP IT MOVING, LET'S GO.
Osmosis: DRIX! YO, DRIX!
JONES?
GET YOUR TIME-RELEASE BUTT OFF THIS BOAT.
THRAX IS ALIVE. COME ON, LET'S GO.
I'M SORRY, OSMOSIS, I CAN'T HELP YOU.
EXCUSE ME?
I WASN'T DESIGNED TO COMBAT A VIRUS.
READ MY LABEL.
YOU GOTTA LEARN TO THINK OUTSIDE THE PILLBOX, MAN.
Conductor: COME ON, KEEP IT MOVING.
I'VE KNOWN SUGAR PILLS WHO'VE CURED CANCER
JUST BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THEY COULD.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, OZZY. LOOK AT ME.
I'M CHERRY FLAVORED.
HEY, PAL, YOU ON OR OFF?
FINE. FLUSH YOUR LIFE DOWN THE TOILET.
THE ZIPPER'S DOWN.
ALL ASHORE THAT'S GOING ASHORE.
Frank: OHH.
Drix: JONES...
YOU REALLY KNOW A SUGAR PILL WHO CURED CANCER?
NAH.
BUT IT MAKES FOR A GOOD PEP TALK, DON'T IT?
Drix: LET'S GO CATCH A COLD.
HEY, SHANE, HOW ABOUT A HUG FOR YOUR UNCLE BOB?
OK, NICE TALKING TO YOU, TOO.
HEY, MUSCLES!
YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.
I FEEL A LITTLE FLUEY.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
STARVE A COLD...
DROWN THE FLU. THERE YOU GO.
YOUR BODY NEEDS FLUIDS NOW
AND LOTS OF THEM.
IS BEER FLUID?
OH, OF COURSE IT'S FLUID.
WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT WET STUFF IN IT?
I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE BEER.
OH, COME ON, NO, FINISH THAT UP.
COME ON, WE WANT TO GET BETTER.
COME ON, THERE WE GO, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S MY GOOD WASHBOARD-TUMMY GUY!
THERE YOU GO!
THIS IS IT. MEN, GO, GO, GO, GO!
AAH!
HI, BABY.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? SHOOT HIM!
IF YOU FOLLOW ME, SHE DIES!
LET HER GO! FREEZE!
HEY, THIS AIN'T NO TIME TO GET CARSICK.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I'M ONE-EIGHTH DRAMAMINE.
IT'S JUST THIS DARN HEAT. AY!
JUST AS LONG AS IT DON'T HIT 108 DEGREES,
OR FRANK'S DAUGHTER'S AN ORPHAN.
HEY, SHANE, LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT FOR YOU.
THEY'RE FALSE EYELASHES.
WHATEVER.
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYE.
THERE YOU GO. YOU LOOK GOOD WITH FALSIES.
AAH!
WHAT THE--
LET ME GO! AAH!
Bob: OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT SHANE.
SHANE'LL BE FINE.
WELL, I JUST WANT TO, YOU KNOW,
PUT HER AT EASE.
I DON'T WANT HER TO WORRY.
LISTEN...
WHY DON'T YOU SIT HER DOWN AND TELL HER
THAT IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENS TO YOU,
I WILL TAKE CARE OF HER, OK?
I WILL RAISE HER, I WILL NURTURE HER,
I WILL LOVE HER, AND THEN WHEN SHE'S 16,
I'LL BOOT HER OUT THE DOOR.
16?
WELL, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT GONNA MOMMY HER FOREVER, OK?
I MEAN, 16, SURE.
FRANK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Dispatcher: ALL UNITS, ALL UNITS,
HE HAVE A HOSTAGE SITUATION INVOLVING THE MAYOR'S AIDE.
OH, NO, LEAH, GIRL, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
AND NOW WE GO LIVE TO A HIGH-SPEED CHASE
IN THE SUPERIOR VENA CAVA EXPRESSWAY.
REPORTS OF A HOSTAGE ARE CONFIRMED.
WHOA!
Officer: LOOK OUT!
SUSPECT IS HEADING TOWARDS THE UVULA.
REPEAT, HEADING TOWARDS THE UVULA.
WHAT THE HECK IS A U
IT'S THAT LITTLE DANGLY THING
THAT HANGS DOWN IN FRANK'S--
NOT THAT LITTLE DANGLY THING!
THE ONE IN HIS THROAT!
I KNEW THAT, I KNEW THAT.
FRANK? ARE YOU WITH ME?
FRANK, ARE YOU--FRANK, ARE YOU WITH ME?
YES, I FEEL FINE. SAY IT!
FRANK, FRANK! HOLD ON HERE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL.
THE TRIP IS OFF.
THE TRIP IS OFF?
NOOOO!
SHANE, ISN'T THAT YOUR DAD?
Shane: OH, MY GOD.
STOP THE BUS!
DAD!
UNCLE BOB!
SHANE!
SHANE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHAT HAPPENED?
IT'S OK, I'M HER NIECE.
UM, WELL, HONEY,
YOUR DADDY'S HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT.
IS HE OK?
OH, SURE, NO, HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
I HOPE HE'S GONNA BE OK.
LET ME GO! HEY, HEY, WATCH THE HANDS, BUDDY!
HOLD UP. PUT ME DOWN!
A CRITICAL ONE HERE!
WHAT'S THE STORY ON THIS ONE?
Nurse: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
THE GUY'S BURNING UP.
ALL RIGHT, LET MOVE ON MY MARK.
READY, 1, 2...LIFT!
WHAT IS THAT NASTY SMELL?
CHERRY. WILD CHERRY.
NOW LET HER GO.
WHY? SO YOU CAN ICE ME AGAIN?
NO, SO I CAN!
VIRUS CON DIOS
UNH!
JONES! OH, THANK FRANK!
WHAT'S HIS TEMPERATURE?
Doctor: 106.2.
PUT HIM IN ICE!
LET'S GET SOME ICE IN HERE!
WE GOTTA COOL THIS GUY DOWN.
GO ON IN.
Nurse 2: WE NEED SOME ICE IN HERE!
Orderly: RIGHT, I'LL GET IT.
DADDY?
MAGGIE.
NO! NO, DAD, IT'S ME, SHANE.
COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE.
I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS.
HEH HEH HEH! ARGH!
Chief: THIS IS FRANK P.D.!
WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!
SURRENDER AT ONCE!
GIVE IT UP, THRAX. YOU'RE BUSTED.
HAND OVER THE BRACELET.
Y'ALL ARE MAKING THIS TOO EASY. HA HA HA!
POLLEN? CHECK THIS OUT.
OH, NO!
DEAR MOTHER OF FRANK!
ENJOY THE FUNERAL, BOYS. HA HA HA!
AH-CHOO!
WE'RE DEAD!
HOW'S YOUR AIM?
A LOT BETTER THAN YOURS.
JONES, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
SAVING FRANK. LET'S DO IT.
YOU WANT OSMOSIS?
YOU'VE GOT OSMOSIS.
WHOOOAAA!
PLEH! UGH!
ARGH!
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT,
DO YOU, JONES?
YOU KNOW WHAT, JONES?
YOU WANT THIS CHAIN SO BAD,
BIG DADDY THRAX IS GONNA LET YOU HAVE IT.
LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, JONES.
YOU WEAR IT WELL.
IT'S A SHAME YOU HAD TO COME
THIS FAR FROM HOME JUST TO DIE.
AAH!
HA! WHO'S THE GERMINATOR NOW?
IT'S A FALSIE--OHH!
CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT, JONES?
HEH HEH HEH! TOO BAD YOU WON'T BE HERE
TO SEE ME BREAK MY RECORD
WHEN I TAKE DOWN
FRANK'S PRETTY LITTLE GIRL.
SHE AIN'T GOING DOWN.
HUH?
YOU ARE.
WHAT? UNH!
AAARGH! NOOO!
WHOA!
Thrax: AAAAAHHH!
WE'RE LOSING HIM.
BREATHE! COME ON, MAN.
DADDY! NO, I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU.
TAKE HER OUTSIDE.
COME ON, HONEY, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.
NO, THAT'S MY DAD! THAT'S MY DAD! DAD!
HEY, WAIT, WAIT! WHOA, WHOA! FRANK!
FRANK!
THINGS ARE LOOKING GRIM
AS TEMPERATURES RISE TO DANGEROUS LEVELS.
WE HAVE LOST ALL CONTACT WITH THE OUTER EXTREMITIES.
NNN WILL STAY ON THE AIR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
WHEN WE COME BACK,
ORDINARY HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES
THAT CAN IMPROVE YOUR GOLF SWING.
YOU--YOU SILLY TWIT!
DON'T YOU GET IT? WE ARE GOING TO DIE!
OH, I KNEW IT, DAN.
AT THE FIRST DARK CLOUD, YOU FALL APART.
MORON! PHONY!
AAH!
GENTLEMEN, PLAYING WITH YOU
HAS BEEN THE GREATEST PLEASURE OF MY LIFE.
[PLAYING NEARER MY GOD TO THEE]
HE'S NOT COMING BACK. HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT.
COME ON, COME ON, HE'LL BE--HE'LL BE--
THAT'S IT.
NO, WAIT! HEY, DADDY!
I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT TO YOU.
I DON'T BLAME YOU AT ALL FOR MOM'S DEATH.
I DIDN'T MEAN ANY OF IT.
YOU'RE THE GREATEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
AAH!
LOOK!
OZZY!
OHH! OH, JONES!
Chief: GET THAT THING TO THE HYPOTHALAMUS NOW!
OK, I'M CALLING IT.
I'M SORRY, SWEETIE.
COME ON. COME ON NOW.
WAIT A MINUTE. HE'S GOT A PULSE.
HE'S COMING BACK.
107.7...
107.6...
YOUR MAMA SAYS HI.
* OH, I BELIEVE
* OH, I BELIEVE...
AS SWELTERING TEMPERATURES RETURN TO NORMAL,
A GRATEFUL CITY SALUTES OSMOSIS JONES,
THE BRAVE OFFICER WHO SAVED US ALL.
PATROLMAN JONES HAS JUST BEEN REINSTATED
TO THE IMMUNITY FORCE WITH FULL PRIVILEGES.
HEY, OZZY, CAN I COUNT ON YOU
TO KEEP FRANK IN SHAPE?
YOU KNOW WE'VE GOT THAT BIG INSURANCE EXAM NEXT MONTH.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK TO MY NEW PARTNER,
IF HE FEELS LIKE HANGING AROUND A LITTLE WHILE.
BUT MY WORK VISA'S EXPIRED.
WELL, WE'LL GO DOWN TO THE HEMORRHOID
AND GET YOU A GOOD LAWYER.
COME HERE, BABY.
I'M STILL JONESING FOR A LITTLE MORE OSMOSIS.
* I BELIEVE
* IF WE BELIEVE
* OH, I BELIEVE
* I BELIEVE
OH, MY GOD.
LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL.
DIDN'T I TELL YOU IT'D BE WORTH IT?
I DIDN'T THINK
I COULD BREAK A SWEAT COMING UP HERE,
BUT I DID.
YEAH. IT WAS KIND OF A LONG DRIVE.
CARROT?
HMM. I WONDER WHAT THIS DOES.
HMM. OHH!
DAD!
WAS THAT YOU?
OHH.
WHAT THE HECK.
OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW.
* AHH
* AHH AHH
* AHH
* I AM THE KING OF THIS CITY *
* TOP DOWN WINDOWS AND I'M PUFFIN' LIKE DIDDY *
* RIDIN' 'CAUSE THE HATERS FACE MAD, TEAM GRITTY *
* HONK YOUR HORN TWICE
* IF YOUR MISSIES LOOKING PRETTY *
* WELL IF YOU RUN WIT' THEM *
* THEN I WALK WITH MY KILLAS *
* NO, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A WOMAN HERE *
* AS LONG AS I'M THE DEALER *
* WHAT YOU FEELIN'? YOU SURE YOU WANT SOME *
* I BROUGHT MY SLUMS, CATS PLAY LIKE THE RUMS *
* THERE'S MONEY IN LARGE SUMS *
* AND NAVIGATORS AND GUNS *
* BABY MAMAS WIT' SONS
* AIN'T AFRAID TO LET YOU HAVE IT *
* IF YOU TRIP WITH THEIR LOVED ONES *
* WHAT I HEARD MOST IS NO, NO *
* YOU BEST GET ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, AND GO, GO *
* LIKE JAGGED EDGE I LEAVE YA MORE DEF THAN SO-SO *
* TYPE OF PERSON CAN TAKE A SHORT SIT IN THE FRONT ROW *
* GET YOUR HANDS OUT MY POCKETS *
* DON'T WANT IT, THIS IS BLOW, BLOW *
* THE ONLY BIRD I GET WIT' MORE IS THE DODO *
* THEY LIKE OH, OH
* IT'S WHAT THE SCREAMIN' FROM THE BACK *
* HEY, TIMBER, IS WHEN I HIT 'EM WIT' THE *
* PUT YOUR GUN AWAY
* AND YOU MIGHT LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY *
* COME IN HEAD, RUN AND DONE *
* BUSTIN' LIKE ANDELE
* I AM THE KING OF THIS CITY *
* TOP DOWN WINDOWS AND I'M PUFFIN' LIKE DIDDY *
* RIDIN' 'CAUSE THE HATERS FACE MAD, TEAM GRITTY *
* HONK YOUR HORN TWICE IS YOUR MISSIES LOOKIN' PRETTY *
* I AM THE KING OF THIS CITY *
* TOP DOWN WINDOWS AND I'M PUFFIN' LIKE DIDDY *
* RIDIN' 'CAUSE THE HATERS FACE MAD, TEAM GRITTY *
* HONK YOUR HORN TWICE IF YOUR MISSIES LOOKIN' PRETTY *
* ASKED AROUND YOU GOT A RANGE *
* BOY, I BEEN HAD WHEELS *
* YO, YOU THINK YOU GOT A LITTLE CHANGE *
* YEAH, MY GIRLIES, THEY LOVE ME TRULY *
* I REMEMBER YOU USED TO SHOOT THAT THING *
* Y'ALL NEVER KNEW ME
* YOU USED TO CLAIM GANGS *
* I AM THE KING OF THIS CITY *
* TOP DOWN WINDOWS AND I'M PUFFIN' LIKE DIDDY *
* RIDIN' 'CAUSE THE HATERS FACE MAD, TEAM GRITTY *
* HONK YOUR HORN TWICE IF YOUR MISSIES LOOKIN' PRETTY *
* I AM THE KING OF THIS CITY *
* TOP DOWN WINDOWS AND I'M PUFFIN' LIKE DIDDY *
* RIDIN' 'CAUSE THE HATERS FACE MAD, TEAM GRITTY *
* HONK YOUR HORN TWICE IF YOUR MISSILES LOOKIN' PRETTY *
* YEAH, TRY TO FIGHT IT
* DRAMA? DRAMA!
* I'M AN 18-WHEELER, BIG MIGHTY COMPETER *
* BIG BALL, SHOT CALLS
* TELL MY THUGS AND MY CHICAS *
* GET CAUGHT IN THE CLUB WITH US *
* BIG BALL, SHOT CALL
* THAT'S 3 HEIDY-HOS STEP IN THE FRONT DOOR *
* LIGHTS, CAMERAS, FLASH
* LOOK AT THEM REACT
* TO THE BOUNCING BALL
* KEEP A FAT BANKROLL
* MAKING FRESH ROADS WITH A TIGHT GANGSTER POSE *
* SO WHEN YOU SEE ME, SEE ME, HOLLA, HOLLA *
* WHAT'S UP, DAWG?
* THAT'S A REAL BIG BALL, SHOT CALL *
* I'M AN 18-WHEELER, BIG MIGHTY COMPETER *
* BIG BALL, SHOT CALL
* AND TELL MY THUGS AND MY CHICAS *
* GET CAUGHT IN THE CLUB WITH US *
* BIG BALL, SHOT CALL
* I'M AN 18-WHEELER, BIG MIGHTY COMPETER *
* BIG BALL, SHOT CALL
* I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, SOMETHING TO SAY *
* COME ON
* CAN YOU FILL ME IN?
* LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
* I WAS CHECKING THIS GIRL NEXT DOOR *
* WHEN HER PARENTS WENT OUT SHE PHONED *
* SAID HEY, BOY, COME ON RIGHT AROUND *
* SO KNOCK ON THE DOOR, YOU WERE STANDING *
* WITH A BOTTLE OF RED WINE READY TO POUR *
* DRESSED IN ALL THAT SATIN AND LACE TO THE FLOOR *
* I MEAN, ME AND HER PARENTS WERE KIND OF COOL *
* BUT IF THEY WERE TO FIND OUT BETWEEN ME AND YOU *
* WE WERE JUST DOING THINGS YOUNG PEOPLE END UP DOING *
* PARENTS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT WE WERE UP TO *
* SAYING WHY WERE CREEPING 'ROUND LATE LAST NIGHT? *
* WHY DID I SEE 2 SHADOWS MOVING IN YOUR BEDROOM LIGHT? *
* NOW YOU'RE DRESSED IN BLACK *
* WHEN I LEFT YOU WERE DRESSED IN RED *
* CAN YOU FILL ME IN?
* WHY MUST YOU PUT A RUSH ON ME *
* WHEN I ALREADY TOLD YOU HOW IT'S GONNA BE? *
* FIRST OF ALL, YOU GOTTA OPEN MY MIND *
* BEFORE I LET YOU SEND CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE *
* SO, BOY, DON'T BE MAD
* DON'T BE UPSET, NO
* DON'T BE MAD 'CAUSE IT AIN'T TIME YET *
* DON'T BE MAD
* DON'T BE UPSET, NO
* DON'T BE MAD 'CAUSE IT AIN'T TIME YET *
* YEAH, I KNOW YOU THINK WE'RE READY TO BE *
* MORE THAN FRIENDS, YOU WANT INTIMACY *
* AND EVEN THOUGH I GET THE URGE *
* I GOTTA MAKE SURE 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT *
* SO, BOY, DON'T BE MAD
* DON'T BE UPSET, NO
* DON'T BE MAD 'CAUSE IT AIN'T TIME YET *
* SUNSHINE
* YO, SUNSHINE
* OOH
* OOH OOH
* MMM
* I DID HEAR YOU
* IT WAS SOMETHING
* THERE WAS NOTHING MUCH TO ME *
* I WAS IN IT FOR THE MOMENT *
* WANTED SOMEONE TOUCHING ME *
* AND I DIDN'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE *
* SO WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE *
* SO BEAUTIFUL
* SO GOOD TO ME
* WHEN I WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR *
* SOMEONE TO HOLD
* JUST FOR A WHILE
* WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE YOUR SMILE *
* WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE
* THE ONE WHO STAYED IN ALL MY DREAMS *
* WHEN I WAS NEEDING NOTHING MORE *
* THAN SOMEONE TO KISS, TO HOLD ON TO ME *
* WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE
* SO RIGHT
* OH, BABY...