Look...
I'm... I'm just gonna lay my cards on the table,
and... maybe you'll think it sounds crazy...
And who knows? Maybe I am crazy.
But if this is crazy, babe, I don't want to be sane.
I'm in love with you, Wendy.
Oh, Captain...
For so long, I have quivered
at the thought of your lips
on my crudely drawn mouth.
Hey...
Your strong hands
caressing my slender wooden body.
Hey, don't talk like that, you... you slut!
But, mm.
When we met, I was working as a...
Hooker-mop.
Stop it, Buckethead Wendy.
Bedding down every filthy broom who laid down a peso
for a bristle job.
I warned her.
"Save me! Save me!
He's an animal.
What the hell are you two doing?
You know I didn't mean it, baby.
Whoa, man.
I was starting to lose it there.
Hey, the door's broken.
We've been trapped in here
for three days.
It's not broken.
You just press the...
No, no, no!
You idiot.
You just press the...
You just...
The door's broken.
Uh...
Oh, what the hell?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Stop yelling, okay?
You're just sucking up all the air.
Don't tell me what to yell or not yell.
Oh, jeez!
Horse nostrils,
slurping up all the precious oxygen.
Sparks, get ahold of yourself.
Claustrophobic.
Not... getting... enough...
I warned him.
Damn. He's out cold.
Yeah.
Hey, you know,
you throw a pretty good punch, captain.
Well, there were a lot of bullies
in my neighborhood when I was a kid.
Your dad got you boxing lessons?
No. No, I...
just got beat up a lot, so...
now when I get the chance,
I like to sucker-punch people.
Yeah.
Hey, the, uh, repair grid says this door's broken.
All right, man.
Is that right?
You really saved...
What'd you do that for?
Oh, look, we've been through all that.
Get away, kitty.
The point is, once his buddies find out,
they'll be on me like stink on rice.
Got it? We've got to cover this up.
Wait! Don't close the...
door.
Come on. We've got to make it look
like he fell or something.
It looks like he fell.
Yeah, right. Okay.
Uh, help me strip him.
We'll take some blackmail photos.
That's how we got Dad to quit drinking.
What are you gonna do?
Pose him with Buckethead Wendy?
You bastard.
Ah. Ow.
Okay, that's got to stop.
Jeez, your chin's like a rock.
Yeah.
Okay, listen,
once this guy doesn't report back,
someone's gonna come looking for him.
I'm gonna catch some Zs.
Seriously, I think my hand's broken.
Good night, sir.
Hey, damn it.
Wasn't me.
That does it.
Nighty-night, sir.
Come on, I want to show you something.
What? A box?
You could say that.
Mm-hmm.
Shh.
Shut the door. Shut the door.
Now, then, where were we?
Ooh. Turn on the light, girl.
No. I kind of like it better off.
Well, now, how are we supposed
to get supplies in the dark?
Oh, I think I found what I'm looking for.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, girl. Girl, you are so bad. Mm.
Mm. Guess this really is the tool closet.
Hey!
What the hell's going on here?
Marco? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Quinn don't swing like that, baby.
Shut up.
What are you two doing in here?
Uh... getting supplies.
What are you doing in here?
We were trapped.
Oh, why did you shut the door?
I simply will not stand here
and listen to a bunch of foul-mouthed innuendo.
What? Yeah,
and I...
I was looking for this, so...
now I'll just be on my way.
The door's broken.
Look, my break's only an hour, so if you don't...
Oh, my God. Who beat up all these people?
Oh, uh...
That. Well, uh, they got into a fight,
and you know, I tried to stop it.
Yeah, but they overpowered me. See?
Uh, that one guy over there,
he has, like, a big hammer.
Yeah, a big hammer,
and then I guess they must have beat each other unconscious,
because, uh...
I don't know.
I was asleep already.
Murphy did it.
Nice. Really believable.
Well, I couldn't come up with a smooth one
like "getting supplies."
Yeah, you know.
You were supplying that booty, weren't you?
Oh, you know it. Isn't that right?
Oh, yeah, baby.
Girl's a freak, know what I'm saying?
Freaky-deaky.
Whoo!
Hey.
I'm standing right here.
Sorry, baby.
Buckethead Wendy?
Is that you?
Captain?
Oh, um, you're awake.
Hey, who hit me?
Uh... beard guy.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, but...
Sir?
How do you like me now,
Chinstrap?
How do you like that, huh?
Sir? Sir?
I warned him.
The important thing is, Quinn's here now,
and he's gonna think of a way
to get us out of here.
Get your manhooks off my lady.
Why did you do that?
What'd you expect?
All tarted up like that, you're just asking for it.
Don't be a tramp like Debbie, for... Ow!
Man, I've really got to get out of here.
Hey, Sparks. Ouch.
Que pasa? Nice eye.
There's not enough air in here for...
Oh, my face.
Oh, yeah.
My lungs are imploding!
Oh, you're awake. Excellent.
When old guy hit me...
Fix away.
I got might think a concussion. Waiting on you.
Now cause remember I can't fix stuff.
Oh, great. Now what?
I gonna lay down back,
because our concussion have me sleepy.
Can't fix it lying down, baby.
Let's go.
Oh, I tell you, when I see Murphy, man,
I'm gonna get at him, man. Murphy gonna mess...
Oh.
Yeah, that's right, punk.
Hey, should beard guy
be asleep with a concussion?
No. Absolutely not.
Wake him up.
No, no, no, no.
Let him sleep.
He'll need a lot less air.
He might die, idiot.
Then he'll need a lot less.
Not asleep yet.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Okay.
Quinn, you got a big, fat brain...
Huh...
so think us up a way out of here,
would you?
All right, first off,
what do we have on hand that we could use...
Fire!
Let's start a fire so the smoke detector goes off,
and then we get rescued and we can breathe.
I saw a gas can in here somewhere.
Who's got a lighter?
Yeah, you know,
we probably won't even have time to die of smoke inhalation
before those oxygen tanks explode
and blow us through the roof.
Great idea!
We'll use the oxygen tanks
to blow us out of here.
Come on, people.
You know Sealab is prone to massive explosions.
Yeah, this place
is a freaking bomb on stilts.
You know, if I had a nickel for...
Oh, my God! I'm claustrophobic!
We got to get out of here!
I got a plan.
Okay, I'm gonna need this, gonna need that,
gonna need a little...
Okay, how about this one?
This is a bent nail. That means good luck.
Now, duct tape wouldn't hurt.
Anybody... Hello, duct tape?
You go right here. Oh, yeah.
All right, then.
We got the lovely Wendy here to sing
her irresistible siren song
and lure unwitting mariners
into the closet.
Then we Shanghai them
and make them think of a plan.
Um...
I'm just gonna use beard guy's tools,
and bypass the circuit.
Well, why don't you just shout down
every suggestion I come up with?
Why don't you call Bruce Springsteen
and tell him to get another nickname,
since you're already The Boss?
Huh?
Why don't you do that?
Yeah.
I'm gonna go fix the door now.
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
Who's Bruce...
Man, you people.
Bunch of philistines.
I put that over here, put the red thing here.
Okay, uh...
Come on, already.
I'm... I'm running on CO2 here, okay?
And we really should have
some plants in this room.
Would you shut up?
Oh, yeah.
God forbid anybody speak
while the mighty Quinn is doing his plan.
No... you don't want to incur the wrath of Quinn.
Thou shalt have no other gods
before Quinn.
Mighty Quinn.
Big Quinn.
Quinn is...
Do you want this door open or not?
I do.
Okay, then.
Nice doggy.
Hurry, Quinn! Shut it! Shut it!
Dios mío. What the hell was that?
Where did all those dogs come from?
Oh. Yeah, now I remember.
Remember what?
Uh, well,
you know how some people rescue greyhounds?
I mean, from the track?
Those weren't any damn greyhounds.
No, I don't like greyhounds...
Too pointy...
So I rescued some fighting dogs
from Guatemala.
What?
Yeah. Yeah. Tough bastards too.
Real killers.
What the hell were you thinking, man?
Anyhoo, I came down here
to get them some food.
They haven't been fed in three days?
Uh, more like 10.
I... kept forgetting.
We're trapped in here!
Yes.
Yes, we are,
but it could be worse.
How?
How could it possibly be
any freaking worse?
We could be out there... like Stormy.
Do you want the moustache on or off?
Too bad.