Captioning made possible by warner bros.
No, no, no, no. Nope.
You got any stuff that doesn't suck?
Ah, captain.
You are a very discerning customer.
I find that very attractive in a man.
Ooh, very sexy.
I find myself totally aroused by you.
So, nonsucky stuff...
Uh, whatcha got?
Well, could i interest you in...
Hey! What you got there?
Puddin' puppets?
That, my handsome captain, is a gloop.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
The gloops are an ancient and
Mystical race from the xandar dynasty...
Uh-Huh. This one's named squishface,
And we are out of here!
Wait! There is one rule. Wait!
Yeah, rule. Got it.
You must never, ever, ever
Give him liquor of any sort.
Gonna get you all cleaned up,
Then take you for a ride in the murph-Mobile,
Get you a little hat.
You like puddin'?
Ha ha! Sure you do!
I love you, squishface.
Whoa!
What, did you get some booze
In your eyes, kiddo?
A baby gloop!
Kick ass, mommy squishface!
Whoa! You got knocked up pretty good, huh?
They're adorable.
I could eat them up with a spoon.
Yeah.
Of course, they taste like candy.
Wait. I thought you only got one.
Squishface is a single mom.
I should probably run some tests.
They might not be as harmless as they look.
Don't be such a downer all the time.
Aw! Listen to that!
He made a little poot!
Isn't he cute, marco?
Yeah...
For a little white turd.
Hey!
Check it out! He's gigging you.
Yeah. That's pudge.
He's the cutup.
Wow! They turn into shapes!
Captain, can i have one?
Man, i don't know. Man, man, man, man.
What do you think, squishface?
Then spread the gloopy gospel.
Wait a minute!
These things may carry viruses or disease.
If you can't say anything nice,
Just do us all a favor
And keep that big, fat mouth of yours shut!
They could have infectious diseases.
I'm about to infect you
With the back of my hand.
But... Back of the hand!
I'll just go see how
The kelp harvest is coming along.
Yeah! Go on and harvest yourself
Some more jerk plants to live in the jerk town
That you're the... Jerk mayor of!
Sweet! He's doing me!
I'll call him "little white storm."
These are the cutest things i've ever seen.
A little stinky, though.
Like ferrets.
God! I hate ferrets!
Good luck finding a candy-Flavored ferret!
Go on! Shoo! Shoo! Psst!
Hey!
Look at that!
She's doing a little merengue!
They totally kick ass!
Good luck finding a candy-Flavored ass!
Captain, is there anything we should know?
Like, food and stuff?
What do they like to eat?
What don't they like to eat?
Right?
So, we're out of here.
Sniff you jerks later.
Hey, sparks.
Do you know where i can find some... Whoa!
What is that smell?
Oh, damn stink blobs!
It's like living in a fat guy's pants in here.
Oh, what? You gonna hit me?
Ooh!
Oh, gross, you gummy little bastard!
Here. You want some of this?
Hey!
Don't hit the gloop baby.
Let go, you little jerk!
Can't move...
Hey, hey. Come on.
Leave him alone.
Sparks, the vaporators are... Oh! Damn!
Wh-What's going on in here?
Smacking and farting.
Let go, you... You smelly rat bastard!
Stop hitting him!
You're triggering
Their natural defense mechanisms!
What? The reek of wet ass?
Methane sulfate.
Apparently, they release it
When they're angry or threatened.
Or just whenever.
I bet that's what the smell is.
Really?
Get this damn thing off of me!
Come on, squishface.
I found a sandwich in here... What the...
Stop that, you idiot!
You stop it!
Silence!
¡dios mió!
How did you learn to talk to them?
I've always known!
Somewhere deep down inside me
Where... Where the special place is...
Inside.
Forever.
That's touching, but here's the deal.
All this methane sulfate
Is overloading the vaporators.
If the gloops stay,
We run out of air,
So it's either us or them.
Then i vote gloops!
Well, i'm afraid that's not an option!
Then don't couch it as one!
Captain, come on!
Don't you smell that?
I smell happiness.
You smell happiness.
Love and happiness! Yes, i do!
I most certainly do!
Hello!
Hey. Hello. Hey up there.
This is the agripod.
We... We got a little situation down here.
My god!
The kelp harvest!
The whole year's crop!
I think they're getting mad
'cause the kelp's about gone.
Aah! Help!
Help! Oh!
Agripod, come in!
Come in!
That does it! Come on, marco.
We got to stop them.
You can't stop them!
I mean, no, no.
Th-They're harmless and sweet.
Y muy, muy precioso.
¿sí?
See the little dance there?
We've got to exterminate them!
All they want to do is dance and love you!
The methane sulfate will kill us!
Damn it, man! They taste like candy!
Marco, you in or out?
Man, man!
I'm torn between my love of gloops
And my love of killing.
Ok, let's grease them!
No! I forbid you!
This is mutiny!
I'll gut you two from stem to stern!
This time, the seas really will run red!
Skip. I'll cut ya!
Skip, for god sakes,
Get ahold of yourself!
What did you say?
Well, i mean, come on, skip.
You're losing it.
That thing eating your brain or what?
Oh! Oh, the horror!
Oh, the deadly aroma!
"eating my brain."
Wh... That's rich.
Coming from a skeleton.
Come on, squishface.
We gotta hide you.
Stay frosty, everybody.
Stormy, you picking up any methane?
Yeah!
5 meters.
4 meters.
Oh, man!
I don't see anything.
Where are they?
Get ready! I want good
Muzzle discipline, people!
Don't worry.
I won't let them hurt my little gloopies.
Squishface, would you be so kind
As to pass the jam?
Ha ha ha! You sure did!
You sure did.
2 meters.
You reading that thing right?
Shut up! Where are they?
1 meter!
I need ammo.
Debbie, outside: i need ammo.
Now, what's all that racket?
Where the hell are they?
1 meter.
They're right on top of us!
Oh, my god! The air vents!
Smoke him!
You want some of the "q"?
Bring it!
Oh, yeah!
Aw, sweet mary! They got pudge!
Good sweep, crew.
Stormy, where's the rest
Of the little turds?
Holy bejesus!
It looks like the mother lode!
12 meters, 1 o'clock!
That's it. Just a little closer.
Two by two cover formation, people.
Suppressing fire from the corners.
5 meters! Again!
I can totally smell them already.
3 meters! 2 meters!
Now!
Oh, my god!
Fire! Let him have it!
Yeah! Yeah, baby!
You want some of the "q" now?
Bang, bang, bang!
Burn, baby!
This is for pudge!
You're comin' down the mississippi!
Yes, but only for a few minutes.
He needs his rest.
Oh, my god!
He's all burned!
Yes, those melting gloops really did
Some deep tissue damage.
Imagine, if you will, being encased
Inside a giant roasting marshmallow.
Really imagine it.
Do it.
Captain?
Captain, can you hear me?
Who's that?
Quinn?
Captain, we're sorry that we had to, um...
Hose you down
With napalm like that.
Yeah... But i think you learned
A valuable lesson, right?
Ye... I did.
I... I... I can't think of what it is right now
Because of all the pain,
But i'm sure i learned something.
Can... Can we get you anything?
Thirsty. So thirsty.
Can i have a glass of, uh...
Bourbon?
Sure thing.
We'll send the nurse in with some liquor.
Come on, everybody.
Ok. You give 'em hell, sir.
Eye of the tiger!
Yeah. I'm thirsty.
You thirsty, squishface?
Hi.
Yeah. Nice try, sir.
You'll, uh...
You'll probably want to close your eyes.
Oh! Oh, please, don't!
Captioning made possible by warner bros.
Captioned by the national captioning institute www.Ncicap.Org...
And a 5, 6, 7, 8.
Shuff, tapple, tapple, fart.
Shuff, tap...
Damn, it, kevin!
Shuff, tapple, tapple, fart.
What's so hard about that?
Now, again, from the top.
And sparkle!
5, 6, 7, 8.
Shuff, tapple, tapple, fart.
Shuff... Stop. Just stop, kevin!
Come back when you're ready to be a star, huh, pal?
When we open next week, it ain't gonna be me
Up there making a fool of myself.