I don't give a **** who hears me!
Because all you care about is you!
I sure as **** don't care about you!
Hey! Don't be throwing my * * * %1
And you can shove this up your ***I
Hey! I'ma shove my **** up your ***!
Well, if you could do that, I wouldn't be dumping you.
Oh, no, I'm dumping your ******* ass!
**** off, you mother ******!
Could you please stop this insufferable beeping?
Oh, are you having a yard sale late at night?
Dude, that's awesome. Who told you they broke up?
Virjay saw the whole thing.
Isn't that right, doc?
Sparks, the muse has nudged me.
I'm getting the band back together. Oh, yeah.
We are never getting back together.
Well, I hate it for you...
...but to be honest, I'm kind of happy for Quinn.
- And just why is that? - Oh, come on, child.
A fine brother like that? He was wasted on you.
- Excuse me? - Shoot.
Dias miu. you sleeping on the floor? Why don't you bunk with me?
Hey, I might take you up on that.
Us hombres gotta stick together, right?
You know, your Spanish is terrible.
Because if I see him, I'll scratch his piggy little eyes out or something.
No sweat. I'll change the schedule.
And while you're at it, I don't wanna work with the other Debbie either.
She's on Quinn's side, huh?
Like nobody saw that coming.
And he's rooming with Marco.
Yeah, whatever.
- Looks like it's just you and me, kid. - And me.
- What do you want? - Debbie...
...know you're going through a tough time now--
Just not now, okay?
I just want you to know that I'm here for you.
Oh, Stormy. That's so sweet.
So if you need somebody to talk to...
...or somebody to dry-hump...
...I'm here for you.
Gentlemen, please. Your attention.
Hey, Virj, let's fire up a hog leg.
- Five-Thirty, you know I am a vegetarian. - No, he means--
But after rehearsal, please feel free to catch and skin some sort of animal to eat.
Now, for 10 years, the Ocean Bottom Nightmare Band...
...has beaten us in the Battle of the Groups.
Animatronic weasel bastards.
But this year, the tables shall turn.
Virj, they're programmed to rock perfectly. How are we gonna beat them?
With my new compaosition, "Fishing Hole."
A one, two, a one, two, three, four.
Do I not rival Ronnie James Dio in my rock ability?
Trust me, Deb. A makeover, you put on those hooker pumps...
...and then we're taking you out on the town tonight!
- Yeah. Yeah, **** him. - Attagirl.
- And I'll tell you something. - What's that?
I'm gonna tease this hair to the moon.
Always her needs this, her needs that.
What about my frigging needs?
Here's what you need, right here.
- What the hell is that? - Homemade raisin wine, baby.
- Why is it in the toilet? - Keeps it chilly.
Don't worry. The bag's sealed.
- It's clean, man. - Why is there a toilet in your room?
What are you? Mr. Baby-Questions?
Oh, man. This ain't no hydroponic lab.
Well, what the hell else would it be?
Look at all them dadburn blinking lights.
- Well, bust that thing off, then. - Check, one. Something fell in there.
Well, maybe it's a big fat hog leg.
Well, my hand's too big to reach it.
Hot damn. This is better than doobage.
Oh, man. My head's feeling all tingly.
I'm gonna be losing long blocks of time with this stuff.
We need a big crowd tonight, Hesh...
...so please ensure that all 1000 flyers are prominently displayed.
Maybe Hesh could rap in your band.
If only it were up to me.
Because Hesh lays down the phat rhymes, you feel me?
I kick it for real-sies, no deal-sies.
I kick it old schooly.
I kick the crap out of that school.
I kick it.
Just put the damn flyers up.
I don't need her. Don't need nobody.
Forget her, man.
Let's go out, find a little mami chula for you.
Hell, yeah. Get me some poon tang.
Yeah, let's go to a bar.
We done drunk up all the damn toilet wine.
Out of sight, boss.
Shoot.
Get off the stage!
You sure I look okay?
Like a steak drizzled in slut sauce.
Trust me, you're gonna be beating the guys off with a stick.
I'm up for that, except for the stick.
Okay, that's it.
Guess who just came in.
Quinn. Quick, I need a man.
Hesh has been getting his drink on.
Oh, God.
Okay, act like we're a couple.
Yeah, Hesh is getting ripped wide open. C-section, baby.
Hey, you're on after the Nightmare boys. You better get your guys ready.
Where are those feckless nincompoops?
- What's going on, Virj? - Where have you been? Where--?
Sweet Krishna, what has happened to your heads?
Virj, we need to talk.
What do you say to that, Mr. B.? That's a good smoke, Hesh-meister.
Hey, hey.
- How's everybody doing? - Hesh all bone up on your missus.
Oh, Debbie.
- I didn't see you there. - I'm so sure.
Looks like you found...somebody.
Hesh is hitting that ass.
Whereas, you have found nobody.
Oh, I brought my ladies.
- Damn! - Damn!
Here your melon ball, papi.
What do you mean, I'm out of the band?
Virj, no hard feelings, man.
Damn your irradiated eyes, it's my band.
Oh, please. Get a room, you three.
Woman, you don't like it, you can leave.
Maybe I will, right after I kick your ******* ass,
- You and what army, Q-Tip? - Damn. She called you Q-Tip.
Back off, lady marmalade.
Excuse me? Girl, you best get up off my grill.
Yeah, slut.
Who you calling a slut, whore?
Hesh is getting pretty turned on.
Hey, man, no hard feelings, but we're going with the big head thing.
- Already got a record deal and everything. - A record--?
- Who would sign you freaks? - Hey, hey. There's my rock stars.
Come on, let's blow this small-head joint.
Give my back my big head
Well, good luck making a record while you're in the agonizing throes...
...of cerebral edema and profound ataxia, radiation monster people.
And now, Battle of the Groups champions, 10 years running...
...the Ocean Bottom Nightmare Band.
Y'all ready for some rocking tonight?
I will beat your skinny ass.
Bitch! Least I got ass.
An ass I'm getting ready to kick.
All right. This is a honky-tonker.
A one, two, a one, two, three, four.
- You wanna come for me? - That's my song!
Take that!
- Back up, baby. - Jack those ribs.
- Get in there. Come on. - Hey, hey.
- Get your foot in there! - No karate.
Damn, my top came off.
You tore my dress wide open.
My breasts are spilling out!
Hesh wants girl-on-girl action.
Slip her the tongue!
God, please don't strike me blind.
Sweet crackers, I'm blind.
Hey, hang on there, folks.
I have an announcement.
Yes, announce that these animatronic vermin have stolen my song.
Shut up. Anybody here from Sealab?
Okay, we got a note.
Somehow, it says the reactor's fixing to blow up.
My God! Everybody, back to Sealab!
How do these apples appeal to you?
Somebody tell me what's happening.
It's the beer bandit.
Oh, boy. Apparently, there's a foreign object...
...down inside the precooling chamber.
That chamber's hermetically sealed.
- How the hell did that happen? - I don't know...
...but if you don't clear that chamber in six minutes, we're all dead.
There's no way my hand will fit inside.
I designed that reactor myself.
Well, nice reactor design, stupid.
Debbie, where have you been?
Me and Yumi and Debbie got so turned on fighting that we all made out.
Every last guy in the bar was watching and totally cheering us on.
Why hast thou forsaken me?
Because of "rafro," baby.
Turns out Yumi and I have tons in common, like our very small hands.
- Quinn, you thinking what I'm thinking? - About them making out?
No, the hands. Small hands.
You two can fix the reactor together.
- Hell, no. I'm not working with her. - Hey, shush it!
Quinn knows the reactor, and your hand is small enough...
...to fit in the cooling chamber, so...
Looks like we'll have to put our differences aside and work together.
Well, that's just stupid.
- Hurry up. We've only got 2 minutes. - I'm doing it. Don't start in on me.
- Woman, if I had a-- - Hey. Reactor meltdown. Fiery death.
- We're doing it. Shut up. - Skin falling off your bones...
- God, this suit's hot. - What's hot was you in that dress.
What's hot was me and Yumi and Debbie making out on that wet, dirty floor.
Oh, yeah.
Bodies entwined, lips and tongues exploring every inch of each other's--
Asses! Stupid robot weasel asses!
Sparks, I need access to some sort of chainsaw and a can of gasoline.
Do you mind? We're trying to prevent a nuclear holocaust here.
- Oh, goodness. - But it should be almost--
- Quinn, what about the meltdown? - Yes!
- It's getting mighty hot in here. - Quinn!
What in the name of Krishna is he doing?
I think he's attempting reentry.
Oh, did we have to end on a lame quote from a James Bond movie?
Quinn, call me a dirty whore.
Much better.
[ENGLISH]
Oh, boy.
I woke up one day naked...
...in a tree...
...in downtown, remember?