Class antagonisms, feudal something of oppression,
Serfdom, bourgeoisie, tottering feudal society,
And victory for the proletariat.
That's you.
Power to the oligarchy.
Good night.
No, the... The chin isn't jutting enough.
Yes, commissar.
It don't mean butt, if it ain't got that jut.
Know what i'm saying?
Yes, commissar.
In fact, put that on a poster.
Yes, commissar.
Um, sir, again, i must express my...
Concerns a-About the kelp harvest.
Nobody touches the kelp.
Sir, please.
Never say "please."
It means you're weak and blithering.
How's that, phil?
There is a specter haunting sealab,
And that specter is my 5-Year plan.
But the kelp is rotting on the vine.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What the hell is that?
Napoleon, minister of agitprop.
Napoleon? Like, from animal farm?
Stop it. No!
Hey, he likes you.
Shoo! Shoo! Yeah, yeah.
You know, when he snuffles your crotch like that,
That's good.
Sir, orwell was using animal farm
As an allegory to expose the inherent flaws in commu...
Oh! Shoo! Bad pig!
What, do you got truffles in your pants?
Commissar, i have rehabilitated
Another group of the party's enemies.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Yeah, what does "rehabilitated" mean again?
"beaten the asses of."
Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, i love newspeak.
Quinn, what were you saying?
And do it in newspeak.
No, i wasn't.
Something about inherent flaws.
Uh, the bust... The chin... Doesn't jut.
I was just saying that.
I'm jutting it more, commissar.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
We need to rehabilitate phil... In the face.
And i think the great struggle is all made up,
And the only thing we're struggling against is him.
So... So you're s...
You're... So you're saying murphy is bad?
Well, this idea is bad.
The kelp harvest has all rotted, and...
Wait, y-You're saying communism is bad?
What, are you 2 years old?
Hasn't history proven that marx's vision
Of an egalitarian utopia is unattainable,
Inevitably creating an oligarchy more oppressive to the proletariat
Than the bourgeoisie it vilifies?
I have to pee.
I'll go with you.
And then he said
That communism was bad and you were bad, too.
You did the right thing, son.
I feel cleansed.
Snitchin' is bitchin'.
Phil, engrave that on something.
And, debbie, anything to add?
Just that it was quinn and stormy
Saying all those bad things.
What? No, no, no! I...
Tell your story swinging.
Smooth move, ex-Lax.
God, all right, already.
Just let it go.
Let it go?
The only thing that ought to be let go around here is me.
Quinn, we're letting you go.
Yes! Oh, man!
So you can build us an atomic bomb.
Oh, man.
Try to get word to my mother.
Man, f-Your mother.
The great leader.
Friend to all animals and children.
Good stuff.
H-Hey, what kind of bird is that?
An eagle, commissar.
Yeah, well, make it a parrot.
I don't care how hard you work.
Debbie, i want you to go undercover.
Anything for the party, commissar.
Yeah, start, uh, seducing people and stuff.
S-Sir?
Start slinging it around.
Try to dig up some more enemies for the party.
Uh, sure.
Remember, it's not what the party can do for your pooty,
It's what your pooty can do for the party.
Phil, you gotta give it up for that.
Man, why didn't i just keep my mouth shut?
Bread, vodka, vodka-Soaked bread.
Ah-Choo!
And i further pledge that before the decade is out...
Shut up!
Before the decade is out, we will have an atomic bomb.
Now!
Now the ladies.
Now guys, give it up for the ladies.
And we're quiet.
You rock!
But not too quiet.
So, we're gonna get a big, honking atomic bomb, people,
And we're gonna use it...
Maybe to get some stuff we want
By implying that we will use it to blow something up.
Like a church!
Or we'll just blow something up.
I am the opiate of the masses.
Good lord. Sonar to conn.
Emergency!
Captain, get sinkpac on the horn.
Roger.
Roger!
Damn it, roger. Get in here.
Yes, admiral?
Get me the president on the phone.
You'll have to hang up first.
When are we gonna get that damn second line in here?
I'm still shopping for a good rate.
Lousy democrats.
I, er, uh, have a, uh,
Urgent situation in the, uh, situation room.
Hurry back.
Will do.
Uh, in the, uh, meantime,
Uh, meet my brother the, uh, attorney general.
I, er, uh, need someone to file my briefs.
Bob, you're an ass.
Hey, hey! The gang's all here, huh?
Oh, hiya, sam. You sit tight.
I'll have the steward bring up, er, uh,
A pitcher of tom collinses just the way you like 'em.
Mm-Hmm.
Yep.
Uh, tell me again, what am i looking at?
The atomic bomb you made me build.
Oh, yeah. All right, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
This is it, huh?
Something wrong?
Does it, uh, i mean,
Are we married to this color?
Steel?
Nah. Hey, it'll blow the crap
Out of something though, right?
Well, it's 200 megatons, so...
I didn't ask for a graduate course in nuclear...
Whatever. Physics.
It'll... It'll blow the crap out of something.
Then get it loaded on the plane.
The plane?
The top secret x-2 bomber.
Uh...
Oh, yeah, i mean, we're gonna need a top secret x-2 bomber.
I kind of had dinner plans.
Hey, i've got tons of plans.
You don't see any of them getting done, do you?
Intelligence reports indicate they've already got the bomb.
And now...
They're working on a top secret bomber.
Aw, damn it to hell.
Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh.
Oh, uh, sorry, padre.
Look, there, uh, general, don't we have bombs?
Are you saying we launch a preemptive nuclear strike
Against sealab?
You're going to bomb sealab?
You, uh... You weren't supposed to hear that.
But they don't have any weapons.
And just how do you know that?
Uh, well...
Oh, way to go, mr. President.
You've bedded yet another spy.
Oh, dry up, ed.
You know rosenberg was framed as well as i do.
I say take some pliers to her.
Find out what she knows about sealab.
But sealab doesn't have any weapons.
Oh, right. And i'm not the son of a bootlegger.
Now that, my boy, is a weapon.
Can i get out from under all these shotguns now?
Well, you're gonna have to...
When you're flying this bad boy
To the united states of oppression.
Oh, man.
Mr. President, they've launched
Some sort of top secret bomber.
You stay put, padre.
I'm gonna get that crazy hat off you
If it's the last thing i do.
Mr. President!
Well, let's scramble all bombers
And nuke those dirty sons of bitches once and for all.
Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh.
I'll put a quarter in the jar, padre.
It's gonna rock to blow stuff up.
Well, we'll see about that.
You better not have some sort of plan...
Hey, look! A little chee-Chee bird.
Where?
Ha ha ha ha.
Our bombers are on the way, sir.
Fine. Now, get that hot little spy cleaned up.
I'll be in the mood for a celebration after we blow the...
White house, come in. Come in!
Their bomber is trying to contact us.
I want to defect to the united states.
I won't bomb you.
I just want to land.
How do we know this isn't one of your dirty commie tricks, huh?
I... Promise?
Good enough. Ed, call back our bombers.
They can't be called back, sir.
Son, ed here tells me
We can't call our bombers back.
What?
Are we sure about that, ed?
Uh, yeah.
Sorry about that.
Oh, pardon me a moment, will you?
Yello?
Get ready for a baptism of fire,
You capitalist oppressive pig-Dog.
That you, commissar?
Well, er, i, uh, have your pilot on the line as well.
Hi. He says he wants to defect.
What? How do you like them apples?
Well, you can tell him to forget about the statue.
Oh, man.
I have to inform you that, uh, we've launched our,
Uh, uh, nuclear bombers.
I knew you'd pull a trick like that.
Well, you launched yours first, comrade.
Well, i knew you'd launch some back.
Oh, yeah? Well... Hang on.
Son, listen here.
Now, when our bombers reach their target,
We're gonna hear a high-Pitched tone.
I'm gonna rehabilitate your ass up and down this...
And that would be the sound
Of the commissar's phone melting.
Oh, my god! You bombed sealab?
Well, unless their phone spontaneously melted.
Uh... Which they're...
No. Telling me isn't likely.
Oh, the humanity!
Now, listen to me.
Bombing us won't bring them back.
Two wrongs don't make a right,
And such, and so forth.
Right. Yes. I'll land the plane.
Super! I tell you what, my friend,
You, uh, land yourself at andrews and, uh, come on over.
We'll have some, er, uh, tom collinses
And i'll introduce... Ha ha, well, you know her...
Hot little blonde from sealab.
What, debbie's there?
Oh, ho! Hell, yes.
Yes, quite a fast piece of, er, uh, baggage there.
In fact, my brother's probably hosing her down as we speak.
Ha ha! We can share, huh?
What? You know i'm into that.
You filthy bastard!
Son, you still there?
Hello?
Nobody shucks my corn but me!
Holy crap! Did you see that?
The damn phone just melted spontaneously.
Captioning made possible by warner bros.
Captioned by the national captioning institute www.Ncicap.Org...